Open Laptop-Open Vein

Losing Focus Part One

2012-02-04T12:30:00.001-06:00

So today I wanted to take a nap, but we had a list of things to do. No rest for the weary. I went on and on to Mr. Wonderful about how in a perfect world we would be filthy rich because then my day would be my day and I could do whatever I wanted--including a daily afternoon nap. I started listing all the things I would do or not do. Volunteer, yes. Dishes, no. I'd cook for my family because it brings me joy, but a housekeeper and butler would be needed, of course. As I always do, I went ahead and dreamed big...enlisting the talents of a pianist, who would play on our baby grand, alongside the harp and cello, as we ate dinner. At that point I realized I had lost focus of what I really wanted. No three-person dinner entertainment is needed. I just want a nap. How easily I am distracted...

Resolutions

2011-12-27T15:31:00.001-06:00

In 2012 my first unspoken resolution is to not have any goals this year related to my career, my income or my finances. Understand, this is huge.

Instead, I made a list of all the reasons I tend to work as hard as I do. We'll get back to this list after we discuss the three true goals for 2012.

So, here we go, 2012. Let's do this:

1. Lose 20 pounds. I have allowed everything else, mainly work and/or providing for my family, to supersede what was once a huge part of my life. I mean, 5 years of a career in fitness. I was a fight-ready boxer even after that. I know better. I've made legit stabs at progress since packing on the poundage, but it has never REALLY been a priority to get in shape again, else it would have happened. As I was recently told by a senior executive friend, I'm a "person who gets shit done when it needs to get done." There you go, Amber. Let's get this shit done and put a check in the box. It's not even a 1/2 a pound a week. Seriously.

2. Plan more 1:1 time with my kids. It doesn't have to be extravagant or exotic. It can be a pedicure or a walk. We do a lot as a family, but I think individual time can improve. I'm the calendar queen. Schedule it. The end.

3. Spend more time outdoors. I'd rather be outdoors than indoors. It's a fact. I'm happier in God's creation. Whitewater rafting, canoeing, hiking, biking, walking, running, picnicking, zip lining, surfing, skiing, chilling at "the creek" (some of you will know this location), climbing, you name it--it was a part of my week/vacation plans/social life. Not that I don't still do things like that, I just need to do more of it. You should do the things you love a lot. I can even tie it into #2 and it would benefit #1.

OK, back to the list I made for my anti-resolution. Not that I'm ball'n, throw'n dolla dolla billz, y'all in the air, waving my hands up in the ay-yer...but if I never made more money or got another promotion, seriously it's enough. Do I really want to never earn more/further my career deep down? Of course not, I'm a driver. I'll always shoot for more. But the reality is I don't NEED it. I NEED to prioritize the three goals I've outlined for myself. When I get irritated that my psycho-driven-self is struggling to prioritize 1,2 and 3 in favor of my crazy work ethic I will allow myself the opportunity to reflect on the "why" behind my drive (which is sincere and well-intentioned for "right" reasons), and then center myself back on what I've deemed MOST important for one year of the rest of my life. 52 weeks. 366 days.

What are your 2012 resolutions? I'm interested in what your priorities are for the coming year. Are there themes among my friends? Or are they as unique as the individuals who make them? What are my friends up to this year that I can encourage you through? Or what smart alec comments might I get instead? (Oh, don't look so innocent--I am talking to YOU!)

I love the new year! New things to conquer. New opportunities. New perspectives. Here's to a wonderful 2012!

Perspective

2011-11-04T19:40:00.000-05:00

This Friday evening, after a long week, Derek and I were both saying how TIRED we were. He said that today he had a test in EVERY subject, except Reading; and then he had to watch an hour movie. THEN he played basketball, then he played TAG, and then Bird Catcher. And ALL *I* had to do this week was go to a bunch of meetings. Haha. Yep. That's all. He's got me. Derek wins.

Great movie quote

2011-09-12T21:50:00.001-05:00

"Oooooh...I'm really scared. No, don't...don't! There's a peck here with an acorn pointed at me"! -Willow

Today's Thought

2011-08-08T21:50:00.002-05:00

Pain doesn't tell you when you ought to stop. Pain is the little voice in your head that tries to hold you back because it knows if you continue you will change. Don't let it stop you from being who you can be. Exhaustion tells you when you ought to stop. You only reach your limit when you can go no further.

Answering Zepfanman...a year later...

2011-08-01T20:48:00.002-05:00

Original post: http://zepfanman.com/2010/08/28-questions-a-meme/

Was your dad named after anyone? Don't think so.
What do you think is the minimal age to get married? I have no room to answer this any other way than it's not my business.
What’s the longest time that you’ve been involved with the same person? 5 years...begrudgingly. Looking forward to celebrating 5 years (and forever) with my husband!
What actor/actress do you consider hot at the moment? I am not fascinated by celebrity in the least bit. My husband embracing my full self is hot.
What is you favorite album by a band? Can't choose one. The White Album by the Beatles ranks.
What is your favorite album by an individual artist? Surfacing, Sara McLaughlin
What is something that you’d rather be a bit dirty? I liked most things "lived in."
What was the last TV show that you watched? American Pickers, only because Geoff is watching it. Not my choice.
How many people have you met from the blogosphere? Who are they? Never met someone through the blogosphere, but met a handful of people online, including my fan-frigg'n-tastic friend who challenged me to answer this survey. Even better, he's friends with some of my other friends, now, too. Miss him!
What’s your philosophy on life? Carpe diem.
Do you think prescription drugs are over prescribed? Yes. Doctors should try, “Do 3 sets of 15 situps and see me in a week” instead. (Repeating J.J.'s response.)
Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? Need more direction on this one.
What is your favorite memory in the last year? Can't pick one, but think Christmas morning as a top favorite.
What is your favorite guilty pleasure? Red wine.
Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: As extroverted as I am I also really enjoy very quiet alone time.
You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the ‘world peace etc’ malarky) – what are they? Ability to fly, ability to heal, ability to create income on demand.
Who would you want to get together with and make a cake? Gordon Ramsey
Which country is your spiritual home? Italy
What is your big weakness? Enjoying life too much
Do you think Judd Corizan is a good person? Who is that?
What was your best/favorite subject at school? English, always
Describe your accent: Valley Bell (this is when you spend 14 years in So. Cal and the rest of your life in the South)
If you could change anything about yourself, would you? Get better about prioritizing my own needs.
What do you wear to sleep? Depends--no, not the adult diapers--like it just depends on the day.
What is your favorite casual outfit to wear? Cheer shorts/t-shirt for super casual; sundress for actually going somewhere.
Do you use cigarettes or alcohol? Wine and an occasional gluten-free beer.
If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it’ll entertain me!) Not sure who you and I are, but this would require WAY more thought than I feel like investing in at the moment.
Rate the memes that you play generally. Use any scale or just in order. Got nothin.

Seasons

2011-08-01T20:01:00.000-05:00

It can be said that I live life to the fullest. It can be said that I have previously like STRETCHED that fullness to the max. Of course, then it can also be said that I'm super strategic and focused. What gives? Seasons.

When (I guess) it didn't matter the consequences so much, if I wanted to experience something, I just did. I have traveled the world, tempted fate, cleared a few dance floors at 3:00 a.m., pampered myself, deprived myself, broke a few hearts, shown my kids things most would never have the chance to experience and fully embraced "carpe diem." If I wrote memoirs no one would believe them. Seriously.

I mean, look, I am married to a man who lived 275 miles away from me when we met at a mutual friend's, when I had quit my stable job to be an event planner to the stars; then traveled to the southern most tip of Africa with him in the name of charity and eventually eloped with him, unbeknownst to anyone (to the very place I now work--thanks, Vince), which I had NO idea at the time would ever be a part of my future employment. That has all since been since I "calmed down."

Yes, I was a party girl turned professional party planner. A "good kid" turned "wild child" turned super mom/professional communications and event maven. I've been a cocktail waitress and have worked at one of the country's top business schools. I've been a Budweiser Girl and now work for the world's largest non-gaming resort and convention center. Student Council stand out to working four jobs as a single mom to planning major events for international celebrities. It's whatever.

So how do I marry my split personalities as some describe me as a gerbil (thanks, Mark) or a hippie and others describe me as a highly organized, strategic, type-A? I guess I just go back to the concept that the good ol' Bible (and the Beatles) reflect upon: there is a season for everything.

Right now my kids need direction, my family needs strategic bets with action plans to achieve success. No one but me will ensure my children have all that they need to become successful adults. That is a primary focus. My employer needs my discipline to support its goals. My colleagues need my partnership and focused effort to be successful. My season involves focus and commitment.

I sowed as many oats as any human needs to. Check. When Derek goes to college I'll only be 42. When he graduates I'll be 46. I have my entire life ahead of me. If I want to return to my free-spirited ways I'll have years of discipline under my belt that will afford me the opportunity to be whatever kind of hippy I desire when that is once again a choice.

I'm so happy with my strange life. I have no regrets. I have a lifetime of mischievous grins that surround those experiences that I just decided I wanted and now recall. I have a stable current reality full of rewarding, amazing "normal." I have a future that is free and clear and full of hope.

I think I've had a pretty 360 approach on life. And I think you CAN have it all...you just have to process it in seasons. ;)

Stealing this from Mr. Milner

2011-07-04T11:46:00.001-05:00

If you meander over to brettmilner.com you will find this brilliant posting today. I had to steal it. :)

The Fountain of Youth

2011-07-03T19:27:00.001-05:00

I have found the answer to never really aging completely. And no, it is not found in a cheesy tourist trap in St. Augustine, Florida.

I have always felt extraordinarily compelled to reach out to young people and help show them the ropes of life and even more importantly, the big, bad professional world. I have been blessed to have a consistent stream of people who have either lit the way for me or who simply provided me with the opportunity to just go for it--accepting that the chance and reward of me getting it right outweighed the risk and cost of me screwing it up. :)

Anyway, there are a few young people who are just rocking my face off lately. One person works for me and I want to do WHATEVER I have to do develop her into the well-rounded, confident, leader and pro she is totally capable of being. Another is an intern we get to borrow on occasion, whom I would instantly hire if I had a position for her...well, and if she was finished with college. I wouldn't even hold it against her that she has the whole orange and white thing going for her. In the mean time, though, I want to invest in her however I can to help her speed up the learning curve to be more competitive. Why? Because she has "it" in her. Then there is another young woman who is currently oversees exploring, learning and experiencing life. I by chance met her JUST before she embarked on this journey and am so excited to share in her experiences by following them online. Is it by chance a writer who loves to travel meets a younger writer who loves to travel? Probably not. I've already decided I'm adopting her. She doesn't know this, yet, but I'm hoping she'll be ok with it. ;)

Anyway, the point of all of this is I originally thought my need to pay forward that which was given to me was just for that very reason. However, I guess I can admit there is a little bit of a fountain of youth element associated with the experience, too. There is a sense of wonderment and discovery that any young person goes through at an astonishing speed throughout college and during one's early twenties. It is fascinating, scary, thrilling and exhausting all at the same. Not that finding one's self is ever fully accomplished...it's just a bit like on steroids during that season. I like to be the person that is there cheering someone on and saying, "It's okay. There are no rules. Try it! What is the worst thing that can happen? (CSD)" Or alternatively, I can be the voice of reason, the person who has been there, done that and got stuck with the ugly t-shirt. This is as much of a gift to me as it is to anyone whom I've "adopted."

Who do you know that you set out to "help" and ended up becoming a huge blessing to you?

Grabbing life by the jugular

2011-07-01T21:05:00.000-05:00

It's a disease I have. And just as soon as I have myself convinced that I should put it on cruise control I get this surge of testosterone that makes me just want to take whatever is in my way and piledrive it, then grab it by the jugular and take it out.

That's right. I can admit it. I'm past aggressive in my fight against this big, bad life. Hand me a pile of shit and I'll turn it into the best fertilizer ever known to man. That's just how I'm wired.

The End.

So Neener!

2011-06-26T10:08:00.006-05:00

Since I've been back in Tennessee my social life has just about risen back to the level it maintained prior to moving to Georgia. Because Derek is at his father's every-other-week during the summer and Brittany has a social life much like her mother's, it has been an eventful summer for Geoff and I out and about. Anyone who truly knows me knows this is just part of who I am.

Reflecting on the past week of fun and thinking how grateful I am to have this back as a part of my life I had one of those fuzzy head, first thoughts this morning. That first key thought of the day was how I have proved many-a-superior wrong...which was followed by my ever-mature line of my lifetime, "so, neener." (Side note: my dad always loved that Amberism.)

Really, in high school I made pretty much straight A's, but was told by teachers if I wasn't so busy missing class going to club meetings, organizing fun for my class and socializing, I could do "even better." I have had a few bosses EARLY in my career, when I was performing at a higher level than my peers, who told me that I needed to "focus" and some who told me that my partying and socializing would hold me back. (I'll give on some of the partying part, but I digress.) Even as my career grew I know fellow community leaders looked at me and shook their head because in spite of the position I was in I freely had fun without it being an underground, covert operation!

HOWEVAH, it was in my clubbing days of yesteryear where I realized the importance of engagement. And without going too far down a rabbit trail here, I specifically recall the first (of several) times where a club manager asked if I would be willing to work there to act like I was a club goer, but do "what [I] just did." Because if *I* was going to be on the dance floor having fun, I wanted EVERYONE there to be having fun, too. I would shamelessly grab the person longingly looking at the dance floor while sitting at the table full of fearful losers who wouldn't dance. Then I would drag them out with me or throw them into a group of people I had similarly grabbed. I shared the freedom of fun.

And if you look at my friends, many of whom never knew each other before participating in my shenanigans, now socialize together in my absence. AND they are naturally the type of people who have brought people into MY life in the same way. I'm talking important people here who entered my life though socializing. (And some even through my friend's online social networking, who then became their "real life friends" and then entered my life.) It's just fabulous!

OK, so let's get back on track here. How is this relevant? I engage for a living. I bring people together for a common reason. I make a very nice living partying, socializing and keeping everyone on the same page. I did it at Cumberland, I did it with Planit Nashville, I did it at UGA and I do it on steroids at Opryland. When I read my job reviews or Linked-In recommendations I read words like "focused,"determined, strategic, passionate, a team-player, etc...And please note, I'm not sharing this to pat myself on the back, I'm showing how the things I was told were holding me back from these accolades before are the very things that have earned me professional respect. Granted, ever-developing maturity helps, and Lord knows there is more to come and develop in the future, but my point is we all have passions and trying to tell someone not to acknowledge what they naturally gravitate towards, enjoy and are good at is sad and wrong AND why there are a lot of people sitting in cubicles miserable.

So, dear teachers, early employers and uptight, judgmental onlookers of my career: I was right, you were wrong. I was simply in training for what was to come. So, neener!

--------Post-posting clarification--------

When I say, "partying" I do not refer to drunken debauchery. I mean having fun with friends.
And to clarify, before I make my job sound way too sexy, I often bring enough work home to claim a second, part-time job. All this "fun" is strategically placed in conjunction with work or to support my "work hard-play hard" philosophy. With my load, letting off steam is a solid requirement.
And for the record, the number one focus of fun for me is targeted at my family. My true friends know this. This blog post was speaking to my personal friendships and social life outside of family time.
Yes, I have a PR degree, thus the compelling need to clarify for those not in the know!

Options for dealing

2011-05-29T15:38:00.001-05:00

Punch people in the face. (This is my favorite option.)

Stop performing and see how everyone manages without my efforts.

Keep doing the right thing, no matter what, thanklessly, as always; continue to internalize any frustration, burden and responsibility--even if it's not rightfully mine--and watch my health continue to crumble and my sanity diminish all for the benefit for everyone else. (This is the likely option I will choose, as old habits die hard.)

*Would like to try the first option for a week without consequence, however. ;)

A Day in the Life...

2011-04-14T20:31:00.005-05:00

8:30 a.m.: Check emails, work on projects, get day in order, etc...

10:00 a.m.: Check in with Southwest at BNA, go through Security, meet contact at C9 for tours of jet tunnels. (Realize this is relevant to a project. I don't go in jet tunnels that are not leading to planes just for fun.)

10:30 a.m.: Realize just how much crap is on my plate, wonder how in the world it is all going to get done. Put my big girl panties on.

11:30 a.m.: Go to lunch. I am so stressed out I am accused of being "slap happy." At this point I, along with my colleagues, have found humor in every mundane thing possible. Uncontrollable giggling ensues.

12:15 p.m.: Sensing I could use a break from reality, my coordinator comes in my office, turns out the lights, turns on a multi-colored disco ball and directs me to turn on techno music (as she creates some with her voice until I get it on). Five of us dance in my office to hard core techno with nothing but a disco ball for light for about 4-5 minutes. I feel a smidge less stressed at this point. I hire smart, wouldn't you agree?

1:45 p.m.: In a rush to get out the door, send out a memo out on behalf of an important person to 3,500 people...and refer to him with the wrong title...like a couple positions beneath him. Awesome.

2:00 p.m.: Check in around 200 managers via scanning their i.d. badges, load them up on buses.

3:00 p.m.: End up at the Big Bang Dueling Piano Bar with aforementioned managers (as many know, one of my FAVORITE places in Nashville).

3:15 p.m.: Receive coveted Big Bang V.I.P. Pass from their way cool company president. No more waiting in line or cover charge. I. Have. Arrived.

4:00 p.m.: Start dance line to "Brick House." Finally people are truly getting down.

5:00 p.m.: Hugged Kenny, my favorite BB bartender, goodbye. Thanked him for singing my song, "Crazy."

5:30 p.m.: Talked to the sous chef on the bus who realized I was the one with the "gluten allergy" after I told him my name. (I love these people.)

6:15 p.m.: Got an email from SVP/GM saying those who did not go with us missed a good time "chilaxing" with the team. Pondered quoting him in the next newsletter. Yes, my senior leadership is cooler than most.

8:26 p.m.: Post a blog about my work day because, once again, I realize I am not normal. I think its absence *IS* my normal.

###

Word.

2011-03-06T21:36:00.002-06:00

When I wake up in the morning gets me outta bed
Keeps me runnin' skippin' jumpin' like a little kid
You know sometimes I can hardly keep it inside
It overtakes me, overwhelms me, and I'm mortified
Did not get it from any woman or man
And it's okay if they don't always understand
It's very easy to get caught in circles dance
It's even easier to break out in a dance

Chorus:
JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!
'Cause they did not hear, and they can not take it away!
JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!
In my heart and I can't let them steer my
JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!
'Cause they did not hear, and they can not take it away!
JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!
'Cause they did not hear, and they can not take it away!

People ask my why this supernatural high
Seeing only sun when there's a cloudy sky
I know the trouble tries to surround me
But I've been given something greater deep inside of me
I did not get it from any woman or man
And it's okay if they don't always understand
It's very easy to get caught in circles dance
It's even easier to break out in a dance

(Chorus)

JOY!(x3)

(Chorus)

JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!
'Cause they did not hear, and they can not take it away!
JOY!
Unspeakable Joy!
In my heart and I can't let them steer my
JOY! (x11)

(Chorus)

When I'm facing opposition of that attitudes
We come see notions, dispositions are completely rude
When darkness thinks that it's outdone me,
I must remember the greater love's inside me
I did not get it from any woman or man
And it's okay if they don't always understand
It's very easy to get caught in circles da

Two become one

2011-01-30T19:44:00.000-06:00

I make no secret I'm madly in love with my husband. This morning, however, I reflected on how after ALL that we have been through we are just as giddy about each other as we were during the supposed giddy phase of our courtship.

I remember early on how we used to try to prepare ourselves to an extent by recognizing one day we would be in a routine and the newness will be gone. At that point we would probably get married and our agape love would carry us forward. But here's the thing...we are so are excited be together. My coffee is better when he brings it to me. Going places is more fun when he's there. Watching TV or reading a book is that much cozier when we get to do it together. He is my mate in all things.

Of course, we share a faith, along with many interests and are both gregarious people who embrace life, but I credit this phenomenon of continued excitement to two basic, yet solid things:

1. We work together to find solution to problems, rather than turning on each other in times of stress or trouble. It is so easy to take frustration out on the person closest to you or to place blame when facing a problem that is now the problem of a unit, rather than an individual. Marriage is a partnership in "good times and bad." Having worked through some pretty terrible stuff I believe we then embrace the good times with even more enthusiasm. I'm not saying we don't get frustrated with each other from time to time, but ultimately we are a team. I hope we never lose sight of this.

2. We kiss A LOT. Seriously, I think we hold a record. If it grosses you out, just don't look. I know my husband loves me because he shows me, and I dare say others who are around us for any period of time can see the affection we have for each other and pretty much get the drift that we are crazy in love. In fact, I recently read an article that said this is missing in marriages and the lack of kissing, hugging and holding hands is a key factors couples growing apart. It suggested couples kiss each other more to rekindle the spirit of unity.

I have so much to learn to be the wife God wants me to be. Geoff's grace never fails me, even when I fail him; and I know when he goofs up it isn't with ill intent. I am not perfect, nor is Geoff...but I dare say we are perfect for each other.

Wine tastings gone GEEK

2011-01-16T21:37:00.000-06:00

So, I used to keep a spreadsheet of my wine tasting notes, but gave that up after a while. The guy at Midtown Wine & Spirits, who clearly has a PhD in all things vino, told Geoff and I his tracking system was just taking a picture of the label with his phone and storing it there. Well, I'm going to take it a step further. I am going to send it to a Picasa album (Hurdle Hizzle Wine Notes) and make my tasting notes the photo caption. Let's make this clear...they are MY tasting notes, not the vineyards, so it's completely an opinion based on my preferences.

It is my mission to discover every yummy $20 and under wine there is. If you want to check in on my progress, you can check out the album HERE!

*For all the misled Pharisees out there ready to pounce in judgement, perhaps you should click HERE first. Thank you, drive through.

EradiKate must have been made by Miracle Max!

2011-01-01T14:51:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure what I love more, Sephora or EradiKate. I don't know about other GROWN ladies, but I have more skin issues at 31 than I did at 15. ANNOYING. Of course, high stress levels coupled with a couple auto-immune disorders, mixed with several food and skin allergies might prove to be the recipe for facial explosions, but I digress.

So, I go into Sephora to pick up some basics. God bless them because they actually HELP you shop, rather than watch you. Not on my list, but on my mind, was a great spot treatment for acne. I asked the ridiculously knowledgeable sales clerk if she had any recommendations after realizing she was on her game in all things beauty. She highly recommended EradiKate by Kate Somerville. It is only $22. Here's the sales pitch:

"There's nothing more frustrating than looking in the mirror and seeing a blemish or pimple appear! Luckily, EradiKate is specifically formulated to effectively heal blemishes and prevent future breakouts, quickly. Most effective when applied as soon as blemishes are noticed, this exclusive formula contains the highest level of sulfur (10%) allowed in order to calm acne flare-ups and free skin of further bacteria buildup."

I used it last night on the "why the heck did you eat dairy, skip washing your face and add more stress to your life" MONDO, terrible breakouts on my face. JUST WOW (in a good way this time). It totally works. I've followed up by reading reviews on various websites and the verdict is in: this miracle works for the masses. It does go on pink, so wear it to bed, not under your make up. You also can't shake the bottle, it's supposed to stay separated. Just dip in a Q-tip to the bottom, apply and you're done. Some people say you can smell the sulfur, but I am very sent-concious and it doesn't bother me. No drying, no flaking -- just instant gratification. In a couple days I expect my monsters to go from totally tame to eliminated. So stoked about this product! Wonder if it's really a creation of Miracle Max? ;)

My new gig

2010-12-15T18:08:00.001-06:00

I get paid to keep people informed and motivated, so they have the information they need to be successful and feel valued.

I get paid to communicate the endless deep discounts and freebies employees receive simply for being a part of a winning team.

I get paid to throw parties to show people how much their work is appreciated by their employer.

I get paid to help facilitate a culture that ultimately is a win-win-win for everyone..."customers," employees AND shareholders...but starting FIRST with the employees.

I get paid to facilitate fun!

I get paid to facilitate recognition, so individuals know exactly why they matter so much and how their work helps the organization's success.

I get paid to find new ways to keep employees satisfied in their roles.

I get paid to facilitate activities outside of work so families have affordable or free activities in which they can spend time with each other to encourage work-life balance.

I get paid to make certain opportunities are available for healthy lifestyles, be it intramural sports, fitness challenges or onsite health checks and medical resources.

I get paid to help employees give back by leading property-wide non-profit initiatives.

Did I mention I get PAID to do all of this?

The Road Less Traveled

2010-11-16T16:05:00.001-06:00

Today a friend's Facebook status update inspired me to finally write this blog. I reminded her what I've reminded myself repeatedly in my adult years: Wrong is easy. Living right is the hardest path! The classic poem,"The Road Not Taken," usually comes to mind, as I recited it many times for various speech meets in elementary school. It is ingrained in my consciousness.

You see, what Robert Frost penned so long ago speaks to making your own way--and not following the crowd--to achieve happiness and success. However, it can also be said that the road less traveled is also the road of living selflessly...the road of "doing the right thing" even when it takes extra effort, humility and sometimes getting the short end of the stick. Taking that road might leave you with a knife in your back after you have already gone the distance for the attacker you thought was your friend. Or perhaps your journey requires the responsibly of picking up and carrying, for many miles, the backpack its owner abandoned where the roads "diverged." You pick up the extra weight because you know someone you DO love needs its contents at the end of that less traveled road, and you know you are the only person willing to carry it. I've even known people who chose the road less traveled again and again, only to find "WANTED" posters of themselves posted throughout the forest to indulge the control issues and self-esteem inadequacies of those who took the easy, selfish road. The more darts they can throw through the forest, the better they make themselves feel about taking "ME, ME, ME" Avenue. Their strategy is to position the smoke and mirrors in all the right places and continue to repeat lies, hoping maybe others will believe the falsehoods, too.

Is any of this fair? Of course not. Is it life? Absolutely. My last two bosses share the same favorite phrase, which is now a favorite of my own: "It is what it is." That statement hangs as a sign on my refrigerator as a daily reminder that life is all about choosing one's attitude. The situation might stay the same, in spite of your best effort to improve upon it, but your attitude is always your choice!

Make no mistake--the road less traveled is difficult to navigate. I can assure you, though, if something doesn't require a lot of effort, it is not worth doing! The menial, temporary reward of the easy path cannot compare to the abundant, longstanding reward of the road less traveled. By keeping priorities in clear focus, drawing on the support of others who have taken the less traveled road and have their own navigational notes to offer; and by believing those who depend on you need you to successfully make it to the other side, I know any good and faithful person can make it through with enough tenacity and a good sense of humor!

Now as for me??? "I--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

I heart you, Bonefish Grill!

2010-10-30T15:23:00.000-05:00

I am usually a fan of locally owned restaurants.Not that I won't eat at a chain, I just usually don't seek one out, especially on date night. The exception to this rule for me is Bonefish Grill. YUM. Not only is it consistently good with exceptional service, they also offer a gluten-free menu and are flexible enough to modify recipes to accommodate me. Mr. W and I have tried all kinds of meals there, but lately have gotten on a tapas-like kick. Today I am going to review what all we ordered, then reveal the price tag at the end. You won't believe it!

Saucy Shrimp

Shrimp sautéed in a Lime Tomato Garlic sauce with Kalamata olives and Feta cheese

Edamame

Young green soybeans steamed and seasoned.

Mussels Josephine

Prince Edward Island Mussels sautéed with tomatoes, garlic, basil and lemon wine sauce.

Ceviche

Raw white fish, shrimp and scallops cut into bite-size pieces and marinated in the juice of an acidic fruit, salt, and seasonings, then mixed with peppers, avocado, cilantro and onion. Served with tortilla chips.

House Merlot

Four glasses between the two of us.

Ready for the bill????

$44.20

Seriously.

Happy Birthday Blog

2010-10-09T10:52:00.004-05:00

What I love to do on my birthday is celebrate everyone else who has contributed to what makes me "me" over the years--to acknowledge all of the people who invested in me to refine my spirit, encourage my growth and support my goals. (BTW, I thought this pic was about as "me" as I could find! :) As I reflected on these important people, here is what I found myself thankful for:

Parents who have always acknowledged I take a left in life and who have always said that's OK. Two people who taught me things about life I could only learn through their example. I don't think they ever really "get" this. Amber is Amber because these two people infused me with their best. As the heads of my precious family, there aren't enough words to express my love for them.
Siblings who are my personal cheer squad and my very best friends. VERY best friends. I would never have made it through the bad times without them, but I'm SO happy to share lots more good times with them!
Children who honor me, show me love and who contribute to the family, not just expect and take, like so many kids today. They are a constant joy in my life and it is an honor to watch them grow into their unique selves. My first and greatest calling in this life is to be their mother. All that I do is to make sure they are able to succeed in whatever they want to do in this life. Their appreciation of this is more than I can expect and a testimony of their sweet spirits.
A husband who is unexplainable. A true partner. A loving, godly man and someone who really is the husband God expects him to be. Geoff Hurdle changed how I see the world and he changed how I see me. He has shown me love in a way I never imagined existed.
Friends who are steadfast, loyal and ALWAYS willing to contribute in so many ways to my life. From my newer friends in Georgia, to my loyal friends in Tennessee (who act like I still live there as much as they keep up with me and still make time for me) to all of my friends across the country, I have always been blessed by deep, meaningful relationships with authentic individuals, vested in my ever evolving life.
My continually growing family! Today I newly celebrate:

The Bozzones, whom I can count on to love my sister. What a FUN and awesome family! After years of being "family," they officially became so just two days after my last birthday! (10/09/09)
The Hurdles...what to even say here?! My in-laws shower me with love and support. My mother-in-law is among my very best friends and my father-in-law and I have so much in common. He embraces even my feminist ways! I trust them implicitly and love time spent with them on our "date nights," when the four of us cook up a feast together, bantering about business or politics, or just hanging out with the kids and their puppy. Together they show me and my children so much grace and love I can barely contain it. Salt of the earth. Period. (04/05/10)
The English/Hurdles: My brother-in-law reached out to me before I ever met him in person. He is probably one of the most genuine people I know. Never will you get anything BUT Matt, right where he is at, expressing his honest opinions on life! He married a sweet, loving, faithful and nurturing woman, and with this gained a delightful family I am now privileged to be connected to. (06/05/10)
The long-lost Ericksons: Without the Internet, multiple moves and distance led to losing touch with my aunt. My aunt had a daughter and I've looked for her for YEARS. In fact, my whole family has. This year, I found her. Here's to my amazingly beautiful, insanely talented, artistic cousin, Christine. (9/19/10)
The Gibsons: Ok, so my brother and Rachel are not married yet, but they are engaged. Considering I've called Rachel my psuedo-sister-in-law for some time now, I'm counting it! She is an AMAZING part of my nephew's life, a wonderful addition to my brother's world (which is important to me, considering he's an every day presence in my world!) and my little sister for life. :) (09/30/10)

I said this year was going to be great--I claimed it early on and have seen it through to reality. One year older, I am still a geek. I am still a goof (although that is greatly stifled about 40+ hours a week at the B school). Hopefully, I am a better me, albeit still geeky and goofy! :) With the support of all of these people I have redefined my reality and continue to work towards my long-term goals. I think I will recall this past year as transformational in so many ways. Here's to the next year of adventures!

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it! (Phil 1:6 paraphrased)

The Music Business Magnet

2010-09-16T16:30:00.005-05:00

Growing up I was "in the music business" by relation. My dad is a drummer and my upbringing involved falling asleep on the front row of concerts, being at video and photo shoots, missing my dad for weeks while he traveled the world, meeting all kinds of musicians and hanging out at the drum store--even attending the drum contests my dad judged there.

Upon becoming an adult I decided maybe the business side of music was for me. I visited the manager of one of my dad's bands who told me get a good, generic business degree and that way if I didn't like it I could go back to regular business. My parents, of course, were like, "Were you not raised in the same house we were in? You saw it all and liked it?!" Ha! OK, I got the hint. Maybe it was not the best plan. Still, "regular" business was not for me, so I got a nice, generic PR degree rather than the PR degree with a Recording Industry focus I was planning on. I immediately went to work in higher education.

Welllll...then I started doing events on the side. Before I knew it I was slap dab in the middle of the music business doing events in that world full time. Like at an insane pace, although it was lots of fun and all with a friend I'll always cherish for life. But....I didn't even plan on it. MAGNET.

Then, I moved away from Nashville, gave up self-employment, and went to work for the State of Georgia in higher education...at a business school...to raise money from 65,000 alumni with my marketing background. How far from the music world could I possibly be? Well, turns out if I just go over to the next building I can walk right into the Music Business Department. Needless to say those people were my friends and we instantly related to each other. For reasons beyond the scope of this blog, three key people started the same program at a different college. It left some gaps here, of course. I know this might shock you, but I ended up being asked to fill one of those gaps in addition to my development communications responsibilities. But....I didn't even plan on it. MAGNET.

Maybe it's because I don't give a rip about celebrity. I am simply all about the business of music business. Maybe the fact that every situation in my life has a corresponding song that comes to mind instantaneously or because I don't really need a radio since there is a constant play list in my head. Maybe its because frankly, I'm not easily intimidated and I have tough skin--two major requirements in that world. Tell me "no" and I'm happy I've got one more "no" out of the way on route to my statistically expected "yes."

At any rate, here I am again. MAGNET. Kind of cool that I get to merge my two passions: education and music. Let's do this.

Best electronic communications of the day

2010-09-15T19:55:00.000-05:00

Best text message of the day:

Derek (Who clearly likes the space button):

i have no one to play with

Me:

I’m sorry. I’ll play with you when I get home.

Derek:

thank you

Me:

You’re welcome baby

Derek:

yay I love you

Me:

Yay I love you, too!

Derek:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the end result:

The best email of the day came from my daughter who sent from her Blackberry to my Droid all of her upcoming calendar obligations while Ccing Geoff.

Yes. I am parenting in 2010 for sure.

Why My Daughter ROCKS!

2010-09-10T16:37:00.000-05:00

~Brittany Katelyn~

Smart

Mature

Resilient

Loyal

Tenacious

Unselfish

Protective

Willing

Giving

Determined

Focused

Loving

Understanding

As Brittany has started high school, I can't help but be COMPLETELY proud of her. I know I usually keep a policy of not blogging about her life, simply because I respect her privacy, but I'm kind of more proud of her at the moment than I am concerned about publishing her business. :)

Brittany is known for being way beyond her years. And she, like her mother, has little tolerance for stupid. Her driven nature helps her succeed and sometimes she leaves people licking their "I didn't quite keep up" wounds in the dust. This is something she is going to have to get used to dealing with as it will never change. Especially in her work life, she will need to remain confident that she is darn good at what she does while not making her peers feel inferior. This is not easy to do with insecurities running amuck in teenagers, and I venture to guess they will continue to with young female professionals.

The good thing is she knows who she is, what she represents, and she won't waiver from it. She is not easily influenced. She is not easily manipulated. No boy is important enough to her to disregard what is really important in her life. Even those closest to her can't get into her mind deep enough to lose site of what is right and what her life's priorities are.

She loves her family. She is the best big sister Derek could hope for, and although she sometimes needs to be reigned in like any sibling, there is no question that she loves her brother with all of her heart. She is a loyal daughter. We have been through a lot together over the years, none of which she signed up for. Yet even in the bad times she has been a part of the team. She understands that a family is family through it all, even when it gets broken up or reconfigured or maybe is not the family picture in story books. She has understood the worldly circumstances that have effected our mojo and our life. She has celebrated the good times and accepted the reality of the bad times. I'm glad we have a recent history of many more good times and look forward to even more. Brittany hasn't just been my daughter through life, in many instances she's been my partner. Right or wrong, it is what it is.

Brittany accepts responsibility for her own actions and understands accountability. She might not always LIKE it, but she gets it. This is going to serve her well in life, since we all know in the end, the only person responsible for you is YOU. In her school work, her house work and in her outlook in life, Brittany knows that she should not expect anyone to hand her anything. This did not happen overnight. Entitlement does not dissipate easily for a teenager, but she has grown in leaps and bounds in the past year, especially.

Her focus is amazing. She has aspirations for a high level career and knows the path to success begins even her freshman year in high school. There is not a week that goes by that I don't hear her talk about college, professional goals or what she expects out of her future. She enjoys life as a fourteen-year-old, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of football games, overnight all-nighters, texting drama, foolishness and mayhem. However, she knows that she wants all paths to lead to success...get on board or for heaven's sake, get out of the way! OK, so maybe she got that part from me. :)

Brittany has been my sidekick for over fourteen years now. I don't know what I would do, nor would have done, without her. I'm not saying that because that is what you say about someone you care about and are proud of. I mean that with all sincerity.

The first day of high school was more emotional for me than her first day of kindergarten. At that moment I knew it was all going to pay off. She was taking her first step towards being independently, fabulously, all things Brittany. Everything we had stuck to in principle and practice led up to that day and her future. I have an idea of what she is going to do in this life, but if I was totally honest I would have to say there is no way I can even wrap my mind around it.

I love my daughter and I am so proud of her I can't even contain it!

Fo real?

2010-08-26T17:36:00.011-05:00

Well, the easy part of today's story is that I had a steel rod (which is really only a minor exaggeration) penetrate my tire while driving, which caused a flat. Geoff took my car this morning to get it fixed and I took his Jeep to work...or so I thought I would actually get to work. We'll skip the other series of unfortunate events that occurred between leaving and trying to park for the sake of time. Let's just say before I even arrived on campus today I had decided that sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug. Today, call me Bug Girl. Now for the sheer ridiculousness...

SO, I pull up to the entrance of my parking deck without my car that has the semi-permanent decal dohicky affixed to the windshield that controls the electronic gate to let me in the North Campus Parking Deck. The deck was full, and therefore only those with a passcard/electronic decal could park in it. No daily customers allowed. I kindly explained to the super nice deck attendant that I did, in fact, have one of those requirements, but it was unfortunately affixed to the vehicle I could not drive safely that day. It did not matter because bureaucracy at its best was feverishly at work. Again, I'll skip a whole bunch of ridiculous details to get to this point....

Today, in order to park in the parking deck that is owned by my employer, and that I pay my employer $40 each month for the privilege to park in so I can walk five to seven minutes to my office and then raise money for a living to sustain the existence of said employer, I had to basically go before congress to get something that enabled me to park quasi-near my building. Once I was parked and walking towards my building it was almost two hours from my first attempt at doing so. Oh yeah, this is where you tilt your head and say in your best ghetto pitched voice, "Fo real?"

Fo real.

I suppose I might have been better off parking in a deck on the south side of campus, then riding a bus until I got near my building, THEN walking five to seven minutes to my office; and then either obtaining a parking pass from my department or just paying for daily parking. I bet it would have taken less time and energy than what I went through today.

I repeat: Fo real.

<----And it all started with this.

***This is the disclaimer that states that I understand what all leads up to the end result of bureaucracy, and that it is a natural consequence of having an organization of this size. I'm not hating the player, just the game. ;)

Toxic Free School Lunch that Smiles on Planet Earth :)

2010-08-01T22:27:00.003-05:00

As I have been struggling extensively with my heightened susceptibility to toxins kicking my immune system's butt, I have tried to look around my environment to see how I can try to stop the chaos. Obviously, as much as I'm interested in getting my own hormones balanced, intestines back in check and reducing the inflammation in my joints, I am even MORE interested in preventing future problems for my children.

Of course, they are used to me insisting on balanced meals made with whole foods, unprocessed, low in sugar and high in fiber and protein; and hearing about how nutrients work in their systems, but we haven't really thought what I'm storing all this healthy food in. So, for the first time in years now we are zeroing in on *CHEMICALS* and importantly, I am looking at Derek's lunch box.

What sucks is when I try to use plastic, reusable containers instead of plastic baggies to help reduce environmental impact, I then sacrifice my son's health. Even if it says "microwave/dishwasher safe" I can't believe that the plastic, when heated, is not really releasing chemicals. I'm no scientist, but I think I do recall when you apply heat to chemical compounds, you alter its state. Some of you reading are thinking that some plastics have been "proven to be safe." However, considering this is going to be washed in hot sink water or in the hot dishwasher EVERY day, do I really want to take the chance? No. Seriously, in the U.S. we allow chemicals in our products (from plastic baby bottles to makeup) that are flat out banned in Europe and Canada. I'm not chancing it, thanks. So here is Derek's environmentally friendly, toxic-free lunch kit:

LunchBots - Stainless Steel Food Container, Duo: It is 100% stainless steel, the top of the colorful lid is powder coated with no VOCs emitted, and it is lead-free. I can put Derek's sandwich on one side and fruit/veggies and cheese or nuts on the other side.

TO-GO WARE - STAINLESS STEEL SIDEKICK, SMALL LIDDED CONTAINER: I purchased this 1/2 cup container to fill with salsa, hummus, all-natural peanut butter or whatever Derek might have in his lunch that requires dipping! Or it can be used for berries, nuts, trail mix, or any snacks for that matter. Made with non-leaching stainless steel, it contains less nickel than other food-grade stainless steel and does not require a chemical sealant.

LunchSkins Reusable Snack Bags : The fabric and ink used to produce these are BPA-free, lead-free and phthalate-free. I think for baked tortilla chips, nutcrackers, cookies, etc...) these fabric bags will rock.

Subzero Stainless Steel Bottle: This is a great size because it is short and fits nicely in his lunch bag. I plan on getting a tall one for him to keep at his desk throughout the day, as well. Even better, I think I found one at Earthfare that has a built-in filter--important since he will refill it at a water fountain, AKA tap water. (YUCK!)

So, you can say it--I'm crazy. Whatever. ;) As usual in making the decision to switch, I considered "What's the worst thing that can happen?" The worst thing that can happen is we add less waste to our environment and spend a little more than we do on plastic. If I do not make the switch and we find that I was right about the toxins...well, I don't think that is as good of an outcome.

Now, in spite of my avid recycling, my next mission is this: I MUST continue to work on my paper towel addiction and bottled water issues!!!!

Why I don't typically accept food given to me through a window

2010-07-13T18:07:00.001-05:00

With intestinal issues abounding the past few days, I've barely eaten anything and certainly have no interest in cooking. I had a milkshake this morning (and that's it) for the day. I'm also restricted to 28 ounces of fluids today due to a test I have to take in the morning. SO, I thought I'd just drive through KFC and get a large order of mashed potatoes, no gravy. Not too much to ask, right?

When I pulled up to the window I notice the health department score: 82. Oy vey. I thought, however, "Well, it's just mashed potatoes. Seriously, it's powder or freeze dried here, right?" I paid and went on my way. About four bites into it I looked down and this gal, with a head full of long, red locks, saw a short, coarse, black hair. UGH. Seriously???? NO. LONGER. HUNGRY.

2010 Peachtree Road Race

2010-07-10T11:50:00.004-05:00

After battling the "bum hip," going to physical therapy, paying out the wazzoo for x-rays and an MRI, what is my first course of action after being "released" to exercise? RUN A 10K, OF COURSE!!!

Every Independence Day 55,000 plus runners get up way too stinking early to walk/run the Peach Tree Road Race, the country's largest 10K. Race numbers sell out WELL in advance for $44, but if you are super fly like my crew, you work around all the paying full price, waiting in line forever to start and all that stuff. Yep, we approached this like everything I do: with a major discount and ADD-friendly. Geoff had the plan all under control.

So, Geoff, Britt, Katie (Britt's friend), my brother and his girlfriend, Rachel, (who innocently came to visit) and I all woke up at the crack of dawn to pile six deep in the ol' Impala. Next stop: Marta...AKA public transportation that we had to walk about a mile to get to from our parking spot at the end of the race.

Upon getting off the train, we began our hunt for "numbers." Meaning we had to find someone who bought a race number with the intention to scalp it, had a friend who backed out, whatever. We got our numbers on the street between $17-$20 a piece. Score. Now, rather than splitting up based on where our numbers said we could line up, we just bypassed that all together.

Instead, we walked well over a mile around Lennox Square Mall to "jump into" the race just before the one mile mark. This way you get to stand to the side to watch the Kenyans run and simply veer to the far right to stay out of any die-hards' way.

We decided early on that not only were we NOT in shape to run the entire thing, my hip was not going to let me, even if my lungs would. It didn't take running next to Santa Claus (painted people, costumed freaks, etc...) for too long before I said, "we just need to make this an experience." After running for a nice little bit we discovered Moe's throwing t-shirts off of a fire truck. Had to catch one, of course...What was more impressive was the Willy's Mexican Catina t-shirt I caught while in a perfect stride, simply by reaching my arm out as I saw it whiz past me.

Of course, I would not be a good UGA Terry College of Business employee if I did not go high five the Chik-fil-A cows! (Major donor and employer, for those not in the know.)

Considering it was the Fourth of July, there were many flags waving. Geoff managed to secure a small flag, which he proudly waved until we decided a more convenient holding place for it was my pony tail.

One of the best sights of the day was the Peachtree Pub Crawl group. Led by a beer flag, this group strolled their way through the race chanting things such as "three more lights" as a count down to their next bar stop. Carrying brews in their hands (yes, we're talking like 8:00 a.m.), and some even smoking, this group was the antithesis of a 10K running group!

But that's OK, because like us they had access to the St. Philip's Holy Water mister to cleanse them of their race transgressions...

...and if that didn't quite do the trick, they could have simply followed our lead and gotten sprinkled by an actual priest for good measure!

So what is the next stop after all this holy water? The Thirsty Dog Tavern for a solo cup full of Carlsberg Beer, of course!

Along with the beer, we also ran by and grabbed Planet Smoothie berry smoothies (a NICE caloric pick-me-up for those of us who skipped breakfast), watermelon, ice cream, various popsicles, you get the idea...the race-side entrainment was endless.

Similar to the Country Music Marathon, we didn't run too far before happening upon live music. On one such occasion I heard "Mustang Sally" and THIS band was elevated on an actual stage, had a full band, PA, the whole works. So, of course Geoff and I hand-in-hand ran off the road and in front of the band in what to us looked like a perfect dance floor? After a couple eight-counts we again grabbed hands and ran right back into the road to continue the race. (The guy below is not the place we stopped at....but I needed a visual.)

And speaking of holding hands....in the interest of sparing my hip unnecessary impact, we opted to walk down a fairly steep hill, then run up the next incline. So, there we were, to the far right as instructed by the race rules, holding hands, but still at a fast pace. This older man with something to prove jogged past us and said, "nice stroll." (Rolling eyes...not worth responding.) As luck would have it, Geoff and I, huffing and puffing up the hill that followed this annoying moment, RAN past the same guy who was...you guessed it...WALKING and at a slow pace, to boot. Since he was quite a bit away from us, there was no being subtle. Geoff shouted "NICE STROLL" and we both gave a thumbs up, smiling and running uphill, sweat dripping from our faces. Awesome.

After we finished the race, we had to strategize how we were going to meet back up with Andrew and Rachel and Britt and Katie. Only the teenagers ran with their cell phones--I know, shocker. But we deduced they would likely have to go to the "small" t-shirt line, so we found the balloons that represented the smalls. So much detail here that I'll skip for the sake of space, but we borrowed an Atlanta cop's cell phone to make absolutely sure we would be able to leave with the minors we were responsible for!

What would a PEACHtree Road Race ending be in Atlanta's Piedmont Park without...yup...peaches. The most spectacular moment, however, unveiled when we were asking multiple people for directions to where our car was parked. A pair of men told Geoff that the street we needed to find was off the corner where the Krispy Kreme Donut store was. So, we approach another police officer and Geoff asks "you know where the Krispy Kreme is?" Exhausted, no one caught how hilarious that was until Rachel blurts out, "Awesome. Geoff, do you realize you just asked a cop how to get to the the donut shop? It was like, 'come on...you know where the donuts are...'" Oh yeah, he did.

Add the two-milish walk (hunt) for the car buried in the depths of a nearby Atlanta neighborhood and we by far got in over ten miles of exercise before 9:30 a.m.! So, to keep with tradition, we did what I've always done after a real good time...ate at the Waffle House!

This was, by far, the MOST FUN I've ever had in a race. The six of us truly have a lifetime of memories.

Another "dang, there's nothing to eat" dinner creation

2010-07-08T19:22:00.001-05:00

Straight from Chef Amber, professionally trained at the Mom's stuck in L.A. traffic and is tired of dealing with food, anyway and Dad's getting ready for a gig, so hope you've paid attention in the kitchen culinary school, I present to you my newest creation: Pasta Concoction de Hurlde

So, here are the ingredients:

Pasta
Dried Italian Seasoning & Salt
Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
Cooked Italian Turkey Sausage, sliced
Leftover Cooked Asparagus
The Last of the Fresh Basil
Yellow Cherry Tomatoes from the Neighbor's Garden That's out of Town (Seriously)
Jarred Kalamata Olives
Extra Virgin Olive Oil

So, I lightly coated the pasta with olive oil and mixed in a little salt and the dried herbs before adding the other ingredients, so it stuck to the pasta nicely. Then I mixed in all the other ingredients, reserving some cheese and the fresh basil.

Once all of that was mixed up, I sprinkled the top with cheese and then the basil and popped it in the oven for a few minutes to make it all melty and yummy.

Low and behold, I have leftover fruit and an uncut pineapple, so let's just get crazy and make a quick fruit salad for dessert.

So...done. Pretty easy cheesy (haha) and all made from what was just in the fridge and pantry. Now go forth and raid your kitchen to see what YOU might be able to come up with!

Don't shy away from wine out of fear!

2010-06-28T20:29:00.003-05:00

So here's the deal...in order to enjoy and learn about wine you must not fear it. Forget about what wine pairs well with which foods and just figure out what you like in a wine. AND DO NOT (I repeat, DO NOT) think that a wine has to be expensive to be good. Nor does it have to be snobby. (However, if you would like to make it that way, all you have to do is turn your nose up a bit after taking a sip.)

For example, I like complex, full bodied (bold) red wines that feature various berries, have chocolate and/or coffee undertones (or even better, mocha) or that have tobacco, leather and/or spicy notes. Did I learn this overnight? Of course not. I just knew I liked what I tasted and eventually I started seeing a pattern. Then I started to try to identify those flavors and qualities (that all have fancy terms like "nose," "finish," "earthy," etc...). Before you know it you can speak wine. Then, you learn about all the fun toys (like aerators, glassware and preservation products) and how they can enhance your wine experience or at the very least make you look cool.

Below I'll list two of the wine varieties I've recently focused on with a vineyard I've particularly enjoyed for each. Note the prices!

1. Malbec: This variety is mostly produced in Argentina. Geoff and I have been a big Malbec exploration kick, wandering away from our favorite, Merlot. Our official wine advisor, James, at our wine club, Wine Styles, recommended this particular selection. I'm SLIGHTLY obsessed with it and fear I will soon not be able to find it, since it is a 2007.

Alamos Malbec, 2007 ($14.95):

"Round and fleshy, with enticing spice, blueberry, fig and boysenberry flavors backed by hints of fruitcake and melted licorice. Stays fresh and vivid on the finish, with a lingering mocha hint. Drink now through 2009. Tasted twice, with consistent notes. 11,000 cases imported."

90 Points -Wine Spectator

2. Verdejo: This was introduced to me by my dear friend, Barb Izzo, who has spent many summers in Spain, as well as a full year there. It was the first white that I truly enjoyed, as it is super crisp, clean and a perfect wine for a hot, summer day. I am not surprised I like it so much, as I can also drink a Sauvignon Blanc, and this is the Spanish answer to that grape variety. When she could no longer import the vineyard she liked best we found this variety at Wine Styles. It is YUMMY!

Tapena Verdejo, 2007 ($8.99):

"A consistent wine from year to year that’s made in a friendly, mass-appeal style. It’s not so pungent and citrusy like some Verdejo; instead it’s more peachy, sweet and melony. Soft on the finish but with just enough acidity to get it through the year."

85 points (Best Buy)-Wine Enthusiast Magazine

As a bonus, here is my stand by FAVORITE wine:

The Francis Coppola Claret (black label/gold foil), 2006 or later

Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Black Label Claret, as its British-derived name implies, is a Cabernet Sauvignon-based wine created in the same style as classic Bordeaux. We use all five Bordeaux varietals in the blendóCabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Malbec, and Petit Verdotóand harvest grapes from Napa and Sonoma as well as the warmer El Dorado region.

Our 2006 Claret is supple and rich with smooth tannins, ripe berry flavors and seductive aromas. Create a classic pairing by serving it with roasted lamb or a petite filet with Gorgonzola butter.

Winemakerís Notes

The 2006 vintage marks the first year we produced Claret at our new home in Sonoma County. Being able to craft the wine from start to finish at our own facility helps us heighten the quality-level of Claret even further.

The growing season was long and cool in 2006 with moderate temperatures. We didnít start harvesting until after Labor Day, a winemakerís dream. Our first Cabernet came in from El Dorado County on September 26th and the grapes were some of the best weíve ever harvested. An early indication of grape quality is color in the fermentor and in 2006 we had plenty. After Cabernet Sauvignon came Malbec and Petit Verdot, both delivering exceptional color, weight and structure.

Perhaps, most exciting for us was the fact we could source Merlot and Cabernet Franc this vintage from our Estate vines in Geyserville. As 2006 marks the first year we blended in fruit from the Estate, we were extremely pleased to find that the quality of the fruit surpassed our expectations.

Tasting Profile

Appearance: Dark inky magenta

Aromas: Plum, blackberry, mocha

Flavors: Crushed wild berries, cassis, vanilla and exotic spices

Appellation: California

Blend: 79% Cabernet Sauvignon, 9% Petit Verdot, 7% Merlot, 3% Malbec, 2% Cabernet Franc

Alcohol: 13.8%

Barrel Regimen: 12-14 months in French oak

So, go forth and explore your own possibilities! CHEERS!

Thirty-and-a-half

2010-06-02T06:18:00.002-05:00

I know, I know...it's been a while since I've blogged. I've had to write SO MUCH at work, frankly it's the last thing I want to do when I get home. Vegging out and watching American Idol is so much more appealing...

...yeah, you read that right: AMBER WATCHED TV REGULARLY THIS SEASON. My dear friend, Misty Saunders, teased my husband that it was a miracle I even turned on "that box with programming," let alone followed a regular TV show. I had to explain that was all part of the master plan.

You see, at thirty-and-one-half (I like this because my children have always noted their "halves") I am FINALLY not only realizing, but accepting, "normal." No really, I am! Granted, I practically live in a vacuum and have had to consciously guard myself against taking care of anything or anybody that does not involve my children, step-daughter or husband, but the concept is finally clicking.

Yes, it took moving to another state, working at an institution that was NOT in my own community and where I have no history or ties; as well as prioritizing mundane activities like laundry and grocery shopping over community service and socializing with friends. Oh yeah, and a little thing like a TRUE partner who genuinely looks out for me and stands in the gap for me whenever it is needed. It hasn't been easy and truthfully I endured a severe identity crisis, but friends, it has paid off.

I got one unexpected and long (well, if you count a couple months as long) period of rest at the beginning of this year, and after fourteen plus years of not knowing that feeling--I was hooked. No way can I go back to the old way. It's like voluntarily asking for another round of cancer after battling it for years and finally defeating it. It would be insane.

The best part is, the world did not fall off its axis. I have NO idea what the next half of a year entails, but if it involves more of growing the strength of my family and taking care of myself so I can best nurture that priority, I say SIGN ME UP.

A concept I now truly believe in...

2010-04-16T18:00:00.071-05:00

Today I received an email from my dear friend, Denise. She always seems to send the right ones on the right days. So much of my life has been controlled by me. HA! Those results have proved less than stellar! When I started earnestly turning my decisions and life over to God, trusting in Him even when it didn't always seem like the path I would take, life blossomed with underlying peace and abundant joy.

This email proved to be a nice reminder of that need to surrender since I've found the more I go back to visit Nashville, the more fish out of water I feel in Georgia. I'll just be honest. Walton County sucks for me. Not trying to offend anyone, but if those who love Walton County were plopped into a bigger city they wouldn't probably like it either. It's just what you are used to and what you value in life. I like the city. I'm a metro, artsy-fartsy, wine lov'n, symphony-to-urban showcase goin, beer tast'n, hob nobb'n, valet park'n, borderline-snarky (with things, not people), coffee shop dwell'n, foodie. And oh my gosh, it's at least 15 minutes to buy a DECENT (not great) pair of shoes from where I live. To my friends back home who don't expect to drive 15 minutes for such, I rest my case.

Being PMSy the past few days I got on another anti-Walton County tangent last night in spite of the fact I made a decision a while ago to just try to get happy with it, remembering ALL the good things that result in me living here. Hey, I slipped. Then this morning I was taking Derek to school and he was talking about playing in the woods, the deer he saw "RIGHT THERE!" And the other deer he saw "RIGHT OVER THERE!" I thought about all the awesome little boys he gets to play with in an open neighborhood not often traveled by those who don't live there, the woods behind our beautiful, comfortable home we live in and the ever revolving door of children that come in various entries (including windows :-\ ) of our house!!! It is a great place for Brittany for many reasons, too, but she's 13 and I don't have her permission to post her life online. ;) With only a couple years of Kristen being "home" before leaving for college I can see her as often as possible as she whizzes in and out now that she is fully licensed! I have the opportunity to really spend time with and get to know my in-laws, whom I love with all my heart, and I can spend time with the various people down here I've forged friendships with throughout my trips to GA, learning from them and allowing their influence to sharpen myself as a person.

Truthfully, I would not have quit Cumberland to pursue self-employment. I would not have entertained a boyfriend, let alone one that took so much effort to see being 5 hours away. I would not have spent what I could have invested into a European trip into a trip to go to one of the most pitiful and certainly an unglamorous part of Africa. I would not have left all that I put into Planit Nashville and 17 years of my life to work for the government (of all things) and move to a distant suburb of Atlanta where it's 20 minutes to get to any decent shopping opportunity.

All of these decisions usually began with a conversation where I said, "God, are you freaking CRAZY?" (Yes, I'm surprised I have not yet been struck by lightening!) The overwhelming urge to pursue these decisions completely superseded my own desire. The reward received from following God's will and not my own allowed me to build my faith at each cross road. And now my children have stability, I have a husband who is truly a partner and a protector and we live a very good life as a family.

I'm not promising to never dog Walton County again, or the state of GA for that matter. I'll likely slip again. Hey-it is what it is. I'm a city girl who comes from a low tax state! ;) But, I am going to keep trying to keep positive about the geographic antithesis of Amber. I do have Athens every day where I have an AMAZING job, Atlanta on the weekends and my kids have what they need consistently. I'm going to try to keep those cushions to the blow top of mind.

Here's a link to the same slide show that was in my email called the "Cactus and the Caterpillar." I think you will enjoy it: http://www.slideshare.net/azharabbas/the-butterfly-the-flower-148801

On a side note, this should have posted Friday. I'm not certain why it didn't. : p

I hate the word, "no."

2010-03-30T09:02:00.003-05:00

Every Day:

No wheat

No barley

No rye

No oats

No Portabella mushrooms

***

Told Today:

No running

No impact

No strenuous activity

I'm slightly annoyed with
"no"
at the moment.

We are Praying for Charlie Grant

2010-03-24T09:37:00.001-05:00

Charlie Grant sustained a terrible head injury playing softball last night. He is in the hospital recovering from surgery. I'm sure the worry his wife is enduring, not only for her husband's health, but for her children's comfort, is overwhelming. As many of you know, Geoff and I have faced tragedy and crisis. One of the ways, outside of God's awesome comfort, that helped us get through that time (and continues to carry us) was the constant encouragement from our friends and from people we never even knew. In fact, we were in constant awe of the hopeful words we received from those whose paths never even came close to crossing our own.

Whether or not you know Charlie or Michelle, I encourage you to leave a comment on this blog to her so she knows JUST HOW MANY people are standing with her, praying for her husband's healing. Please don't post specifics if you know of them. We want to be sure her privacy is protected and her decision to reveal information to her network and importantly her children is solely up to her and not publicly found on a website. We'll print this off and take it to her at the hospital so she can read your messages when she needs them most.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

Quarter Cup Nachos

2010-03-14T19:36:00.004-05:00

I grew up darn close to being Mexican having grown up in Southern California. One of our favorite meals was "Garbage Nachos." What that meant to us was that anything and everything that could go on tortilla chips did, then we put them in the oven and a little piece of heaven came back out. NOW I have to consider exactly what garbage I'm putting in my system. So, I've restructured this favorite food of mine to make it a little more waist-friendly!

Frankly, I'm a little tired of measuring everything out in different cups and spoons, so I thought I'd be super nice and try to make most of the ingredients measure a quarter of a cup...thus the name. For those of you counting points, this is a 10 point recipe (be sure you exercise the day you eat them), but if you leave off the avocado, you can make it an 8 point recipe.

Quarter Cup Nachos

18 Guiltless Gourmet Spicy Black Bean Tortilla Chips (These are like the greatest culinary invention ever. My awesome brother, Andrew, turned me on to them. If you are a chips and salsa junkie who agrees most baked chips are a total let down, these are for you. YUM.)
1/4 cup 2% milk Mexican blend cheese (all the flavor, skip a lot of fat)
1/4 cup shredded chicken (I used left over baked chicken)
1/4 fat free refried beans
1/4 cup tomatos
1/4 chopped onion
1/4 chopped cilantro
1/4 cup sliced jalapeños
1/4 avocado (notice, not 1/4 cup...just a 1/4 of the fruit)
1 Tbs black olives (about 2 whole olives sliced)
1/4 cup salsa
1/4 cup-1/2 cup lettuce (for extra veggie content)

Once all of this on your chips, either pop it in the microwave for 2-3 minutes on a plate or under the broiler for about the same amount of time (on a baking sheet, of course).

As a cheese loving, nacho junkie I kinda frowned when I saw how little the 1/4 cup of cheese covered my chips. However, with ALL the other flavorful ingredients in this recipe, I really didn't miss it when it came time to chow down.

Bon Appetit!

Twenty Minute Dinner-Healthy, Tasty AND Fast!

2010-03-12T20:33:00.004-06:00

Tonight we had a nutritious meal chosen by my son. When told he could pick whatever he wanted for dinner he asked for chicken, green beans, corn and a salad. (Yes! I'm so proud!)
Personally, I would have opted for something other than corn, but given he didn't say "pizza and French fries," I was happy to oblige.

But here's the kicker...this was FAST. Brit was at the movies in the next city over, Geoff and I were tired and we wanted this process to be quick. Solution:

Start with pre-cooked baked chicken from the deli and put it in the oven for 20 minutes at 325 degrees. While that is reheating, Geoff snapped the ends off of fresh green beans while I steamed the corn on the cob in the microwave for 5 minutes. When that came out I popped the green beans in with a couple tablespoons of water for about 6 minutes...enough time to dump some Italian blend bagged lettuce into a bowl, sliced red onion, about an ounce of smoked salmon per serving, a little sliced avocado, Roma tomato and then sprinkle just a tad bit of Gorgonzola cheese and a few capers on the salad. Add a bit of oil and vinegar to the mix and viola, dinner is made. Whole foods, fresh food, healthy foods (featuring healthy fats) and YUMMY. Of course, Geoff and I added a splurge of a spinach artichoke hummus, gluten free crackers and red wine as an appetizer while cooking for a total of 17.5 WW points (I could afford this given my bonus exercise points I earned.) Had I skipped the ap and wine, it would have been 11.5 points total for dinner. The Gorgonzola cheese, avocado and olive oil on the salad were the major point splurges for the main meal, but oh-so-worth it! Note: I removed the skin from my chicken, much to Clyde's joy. ;)

The major point of this blog is that this was all done in 20 minutes from preparation to the table. Honestly, Geoff was expecting me to come home with a rotisserie chicken, a can of green beans, a can of corn and a bag of lettuce after telling me what Derek wanted. But why, when with just a LITTLE more effort would provide such a higher nutritional content and level of enjoyment? I encourage everyone to not cheat your body nor your children's health because you don't have time to make dinner. Twenty minutes is a small time investment to ensure the adequate nutrition for the people you love. Bon appetit!

My Letter to Georgia House Rules Committee Chairman Bill Hembree

2010-03-10T10:40:00.000-06:00

Mr. Hembree:

LET ME MAKE MYSELF CLEAR. DO NOT TOUCH MY SALARY. I am a state employee who makes more than $50,000 a year. The government has already deemed that I "make too much" in that I am responsible for 70% of my children's lives because their fathers choose not to better themselves or stick with a career game plan. That is 70% of basic living, 70% of insurance costs and 70% of medical expenses. And if I want them to go to college, it's 100% on me. Anything beyond basic needs? 100% on me. Now YOU want 10% more! I have worked myself to the bone to create a life for my children against all odds. In fact after leaving the GREAT state of Tennessee to work for your government I was immediately introduced to the term "furlough." So I moved my life, my children and all that I have ever known to just weeks later not make what I was promised prior to making this major life decision. Months later my cost of insurance went up significantly. That is all on top of your state income tax that Tennessee managed to live without taking from me. Oh, should I go on to my birthday present of having to pay a percentage of the value of my vehicle? Give me a break! 10% MORE than what you already take?

I highly suggest YOU take a pay cut, then look at all the waste in our government--eliminate all the bumps on the logs that sit and gossip all day as opposed to working to the best of their abilities like I do. Then I suggest you cut the funding to the single mom that keeps popping out kids and living off my tax dollars in the ghetto or trailer park. Hand her a pack of condoms and show her where the GED office is. I had a child at 16 and you don't see me laying up in housing projects while oddly being able to afford cable television. THEN, I would look at the legislature and figure out exactly what YOU ALL did wrong in leading up to this. How about we the people, who have dug our heels in, put our head down and marched forward, DO NOT become obligated to bare the brunt of those who wear out the system and what it can do for them, AND those who lived beyond their means and are now in a hole, unable to pay the taxes on the house they no longer own because they couldn't afford it in the first place. NONE OF THAT is my fault. I work, I pay my taxes, I raise my children (not expecting the schools or social programs to do it for me) and I am telling you LEAVE MY SALARY ALONE. It's a ludicrous suggestion to cut someone's pay 10% simply because they make over $50K. Why try when the reward for being a model citizen is that you lose? I'll go ahead and quit and sign up for my food stamps and welfare check. At least I won't be slapped in the face for working towards success. Why don't you all come up with a plan that works, not just a plan that is easy? This is America, for heaven's sake. We don't punish the middle class.

I expect a response and a timely one. If it's a canned response I will blog about it until the cows come home...or maybe I'll just wise up and move back to Tennessee.

Amber Sanders

Monroe, GA

Food, glorious food!

2010-03-08T19:04:00.002-06:00

I have mentioned before...we LOVE food! Every night is a blank slate for a new masterpiece. Music, food and wine...makes me happy every time. AND in choosing the right combination of the above mentioned variables I can bring joy to the lives of others. That's the BONUS part.

From cooking random cuisine created from the back of the bachelor pad pantry shelves after a near-drunken night with my "boys" I used to run around with (ahem, Ten Throw Road) to the specialty food I carefully prepare for the love of my life and spectacular children, it is my honor to cook for other people. First, many people don't particularly like to cook because they see it as a chore or mundane task of the day. Second, if they do, they don't necessarily know how to combine flavors to create the "wow" they ideally desire. For me, when there is silence while eating and people are going for seconds, I know I've done my job. Joy joy joy.

Tonight, it is simple. I've brushed chicken quarters with olive oil, then sprinkled with paprika, chili powder, cinnamon, ground mustard, sea salt, cumin and sugar. Geoff is grilling it. Together outside we are sipping a Chilean wine and nibbling on hummus while Derek steals fruit from the tropical salad I'm making. Simple. Like really simple. But we are spending the time together, playing with flavors and preparing this TOGETHER. Geoff will brag on how well I prepared everything and I'll brag on how well he grilled the chicken (which can go VERY wrong, mind you). Oh...and we look so darn cute in our aprons, so...

We have specific meals planned for every night this week from simple Mexican meals to complex Mediterranean dishes. The fun part is we get to add a "brush of color" here, a dab of "paint" there, to the kitchen canvas. Then, we can evaluate the creation and determine if it's a go again.

On a trip to Wine Styles or through emails with friends in Nashville we can compare kitchen creation stories and build on the experience, the ingenuity and the art that we design together--or all that we experienced in a fine restaurant. Even retail therapy can't compare!

Hello, my name is Amber, and I'm a foodie. And I don't plan on going to any 12 step program because I'm not a quitter! I can cook the day's woes away, then with a satisfied tummy curl up on the couch and call it a successful day. Yeah...

Why I'm always so pumped on Monday morning...

2010-03-01T09:04:00.002-06:00

So other than the fact I have the best kids and step-daughter in the world to deal with in the mornings, the most amazing man at my side and a Keurig coffee pot, I have another little secret to getting so dang pumped in the morning....

A 45-MINUTE COMMUTE.

"What?" You ask. You see, I can be all, "yuck I have a commute," and be all pissy and useless by the time I get to work OR I can ramp myself up mentally to break the knob off.

For example, this Monday morning went like this:

Warm Up:

John Mayer, "Clarity" Ease into this drive...

Ramp up for dealing with people all day:

"Dixieland Delight" (Any Tennessean has to love this song.)

"Will You Go With Me," John Turner (Yep, feel'n like I need some cheese grits and sweet tea and I'm feel'n kinda proud to be Southern, y'all. From dealing with the rednecks to the old money southerners, I can do this today.)

Time to Yoke Up:

"Somebody Told Me," The Killers (A chick-a-uh song always gets the mood going...you know, the songs that have the techno-like beat of "chick-a-uh,chick-a-uh,chick-a-uh" real fast in the background?)

"All My Life," Foo Fighters. (This song makes me want to hurt someone. In the interest of public safety, since I no longer have a home boxing gym, I choose instead to put a hurting on my task list.)

Bring it to the Dirty South in the ATL, aka the Hip Hop Capitol of the World:

Lose Control, Missy Elliot (Nuff said. I'm bump'n hard in the ol' Impala at this point...)

"To the River," T-Bone (Awesome rap about the Holy Spirit reviving a man's life. You would never guess it was "Christian Music." I posted a link for my homies who might want to hear it.)

Wrap it up, Bring it on Home:

"Fast as You Can," Fionna Apple (This is how I roll in life, it's a little reminder to STILL work Amber-style in spite of the fact I work for the government and that is not the culture...)

"One Girl Revolution," Super Chick (Need I say more?)

"Killing Me Softly," The Fugees (No better way to end the commute than singing at the top of my lungs like a crazed commuter....)

***This changes daily. I often have my "God time" through listening to kick tail worship music. Other days I might feel like going straight hippy style with Janice Joplin, The Doors, Fleetwood Mac, Jack Johnson, Duffy, etc...

Music sets my mood, then I get to be pumped for my day. There's my secret. Now go forth and boogie!

Not your midwestern yawner crock pot recipes!

2010-01-20T20:32:00.004-06:00

Crock Pot Chicken Taco Chili

This was definitely an A++ from the family. We dumped in all the ingredients the night before while working on that night's dinner and stuck it in the fridge. I put it on the Crockpot before I went to work; when Geoff got home he shredded the chicken and threw it back in and then by the time I got home we had dinner! We did not put it on rice, though. And for those of you who know-know me, ya know I would only eat BROWN rice, anyway! But it was great!

Mad props to Gina's WW Recipes for the original post (that I altered to make it cheaper and lower in fat/calories)!

Ingredients

1 medium onion(s)

16 oz canned black beans

16 oz canned kidney beans

6 oz canned tomato sauce

10 oz cooked frozen corn kernels

29 oz Diced Tomatoes with Green Chilies

1 Tbsp Ortega Taco seasoning

1 Tbsp McCormick Ground cumin

1 Tbsp chili powder

3 breast(s) cooked boneless, skinless chicken breast

1/2 cup(s) cilantro

Instructions

Combine beans, onion, chili peppers, corn, tomato sauce, cumin, chili powder and taco seasoning in a slow cooker. Place chicken on top and cover. Cook on low for 10 hours or on high for 6 hours. Half hour before serving, remove chicken and shred. Return chicken to slow cooker and stir in. Top with fresh cilantro. Also try it with low fat cheese and light sour cream. Without the cheese and sour cream, this is only 4 points for those who are doing Weight Watchers. I wish I had all the nutritional info!

And one more....but this one does not have a picture. We ate it too fast!

Crock Pot Baked Chicken
Ingredients

4 serving(s) Chicken Leg Quarters-no skin
2 Tbsp butter, melted
10 3/4 fl oz low-fat canned cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup(s) dry sherry
1 tsp dried rosemary
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp garlic powder

Instructions
Rinse chicken breasts and pat dry; place in crockpot. Combine remaining ingredients and pour over chicken breasts. Cover and cook on LOW for 8 to 10 hours or on HIGH 4 to 5 hours.

Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Personalizing Dinner

2010-01-05T19:59:00.011-06:00

In our family we love food. LOVE food. Wait....just to be clear....WE LOVE FOOD. We love cooking it, sharing it, serving it, experimenting with it and especially eating it--savoring the flavors and the work that went into making it so enjoyable. What can I say? My mom's a chef and I was totally spoiled growing up. Chef Boyardee and Hamburger Helper are blasphemy in my house!

So, to be sure we don't get in a rut, but we are aware of the nutritional content and have ample options for all family members to choose from each week when creating our menu, I have made our own personal recipe book.

Here's the process: Everyone gets to pick one to two dinners each week from our favorites tocreate our weekly menu. Everyone has a say and feels good that they got to "order" what they wanted for the week while also learning to enjoy the tastes of others.

As you can see by following the link to the spreadsheet, we have the dinner "name" (e.g. fish tacos) stated each day and we make sure it has all the components of a healthy meal by listing it beneath the name. We generally have salad at every meal, so we name our salads like "basic" or "apple walnut," etc...

You may also note that the breakfasts, lunches and snacks are all thought out ahead of time, making a shopping list easier to compile, a grocery budget easier to follow and ME well aware of what my family is putting into their beautiful bodies every day. I can be sure we have balanced culinary adventures without, for example, too much red meat in the week. It gives the kids the opportunity to select healthy snack options in advance and feel good knowing I'm not trying to force them to eat something they don't care for. Oh, and it helps with cross training your ingredients, too. If I know I'm going to make chicken fajitas one night, I'll go ahead and make enough chicken to go in five spice chicken and lettuce wraps another night. This saves oodles of time, which is a commodity for me!

*MOMS* this also helps us make concessions. If you can PLAN on serving pizza Tuesday night, you know that when you are trying to get junior to eat his green beans on Monday, you have MOMMY LEVERAGE!

Anyway, just behind the week's menu page in the recipe book I put all the corresponding recipes. That way, no matter who gets home first someone can get started on something. Of course, I'm blessed with a Mr. Wonderful, so our teenage girls usually get by scotch free. *MOMS* this also enables younger kids to help where they can with your guidance. If a child is old enough to tear up paper and trash his or her room, he or she is old enough to tear lettuce. I'm jus' say'n...

Oh, and I have recipes for even the obvious stuff. Like Brit knows I know how to make my enchiladas and asked why I typed a recipe and put it in there. AGAIN, it is not always for ME. It could be that someone else wants the recipe after trying it or Geoff was going to prep all the ingredients for me to create the actual dish as soon as I walk in the door.

"This Week’s Menu & Recipes" is just behind the table of contents. Next you will find the various categories tabbed, so you you can find the recipes needed for that week. (As you can barely see in the glare-inflicted pic below.):

These are my tabbed categories:

1. Appetizers

2. Sides

Vegetables

Carbs

Salads

3. Main Dish

Beef

Breakfast

Entree Salad

Game

Meatless

Pork

Poultry

Seafood

4. Sauces/Seasonings/Marinades

5. Desserts

Each page is in a sheet protector so spills and powders do not pose a major threat. And if we try a recipe and don't like it, it does not survive the recipe book. EASY! This way we know whatever is in OUR family recipe book is going to be something we all like!

Tonight we tried a new recipe, in fact. When we do this, I'm going to have everyone grade it, so I'll know if it's going to be a regular or not and I can stockpile on sale ingredients if the opportunity arises. On average the Cheeseburger Pie got an "A-." They thought it tasted like Krystals or some form of fast food cheeseburger, thus the thumbs up. Normally, I use a lot of ground turkey, but this seemed like Laura's Extra Lean Ground Beef was in order. I served it with a basic salad and everyone was full. Of course, baked fries would likely be a good addition with the concession that this was not planned to be a super nutrient packed dinner night. It's supposed to serve 6, but without a second side I would say it serves 4, and my gang was wanting more! I made most of it the night before while preparing other parts of meals for the week. Here's the recipe:

Cheeseburger Pie

Hands-On Time: 15 minutes Ready In: 30 minutes

Makes: 6 servings
Cost Per Serving: $1.10, *if you use regular ground beef

Ingredients

1 can crescent rolls (*I just peeled this off of mine, of course since I'm allergic to gluten)
1 pound x-tra lean ground beef
1/4 cup finely chopped onion OR 1 teaspoon onion powder
1/3 cup chopped dill pickle slices
2 Tablespoons ketchup (*watch sugar content on this)
1 teaspoon prepared mustard
2 Tablespoons flour (*or not if you are allergic to gluten like me)
2 Tablespoons dill pickle juice
2 Tablespoons milk
2 cups shredded 2% milk cheddar cheese, divided (*recipe called for shredded American, but ewww!)

Directions

Preheat oven to 375°.
Unroll crescent rolls and press into the bottom and up the sides of an 8 inch pie pan.
Cook ground beef in a skillet until browned. Drain well.
Stir in onion, chopped pickle, ketchup and mustard.
Sprinkle with flour and add pickle juice and milk. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly.
Remove from heat and add 1 cup of shredded cheese.
Pour into the prepared crust and bake for 15 minutes, or until edges of crust are golden brown.
Remove from oven and top with remaining cup of cheese. Let stand until cheese melts.
Garnish with extra ketchup, mustard and pickle slices.

Go ahead and call me a geek. I'm proud to be a geek. I keep my menu and shopping list on Google docs, coupons organized in baseball card sheets and organize my menu to a fault. BUT, lest us all remember if you fail to plan, you can plan to fail, and I hate failure. I've done this off and on for years and quite successfully since moving to Georgia. My co-workers laugh at me, but my family is healthy and happy and I have my sanity.

Hope some of this helps you, too! What are your tips for keeping dinner fun, fresh, healthy and affordable? Do you have any time saving tips to share that might help working moms actually get to sit down between getting home from work and going to bed???!!! :) Do share!

Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum

2010-01-04T09:34:00.006-06:00

Many people know my dad is a drummer. He has played since he could hold sticks and has been paid to play since he was like 12. Needless to say, "Little Drummer Boy" is a special Christmas song to me.

Mandisa did a killer cover of this song in 2009 with a solo snare drum ripp'n it throughout the song. I had the pleasure of watching her perform it live at the Macy's Christmas Tree Lighting in Atlanta, in fact. Wow wow. Since there was a new song to add to my "not lame Christmas music" collection, I in my OCD fashion, listened to it incessantly. The repetitive exposure to the lyrics reminded me of the other reason I love this song, outside of being a big drummer daddy's girl.

What DO we have to offer God? It's like buying a present for Bill Gates. What could you possibly offer him he couldn't get for himself?

This song reminds us to follow the little drummer boy's example.

"I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum."

All he had to offer is his talent. His drumming. And he wasn't going to play it like he was just messing around or practicing. For the Lord, he was going to play his best.

But it's the next line that makes my heart melt.

"Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum. Me and my drum."

Oh to know the Lord smiles at me for offering my best--because that IS all I have to offer him.

The past year has been about survival for me. And perhaps what I've offered HAS been my best. It's been a year trying to overcome fear. The fear of firsts without Anna. The fear of adjusting to new normals. The fear of changing my every day with a huge move. The fear of letting go of past pains and being vulnerable again. The fear of being so out of my element and not knowing a dang thing about my future...not even 24 hours from now.

Since it did take so much effort just to survive, I promised God I wouldn't over-commit myself. I wouldn't bury the pain, worry and fear in busyness if He would just carry me through the year. I know He whispered things in my heart and instead of acting on them quickly, carrying a banner throughout my life rallying for its success, I've become increasingly pensive and have purposefully been still.

This year I hope to "play my best for Him." I hope that I can continue to mind Him as the conductor--not playing too fast or coming in with the drums before my part is needed in the arrangement. I hope to focus strongly on the elements of my life that have slipped and that nurture the growth He has planned for me. And as I play my drum I hope to ready my spirit, my body and all that makes up a strong vessel for God to use in my territory.

There is so much goodness already foreseeable in the coming year. I embrace and claim 2010 without timidity and with endless hope. I encourage you to play your best for Him this year, too.

What is your "pa rum pum pum pum" for 2010?

On a more positive note.....

2009-11-04T08:17:00.004-06:00

I have these "7s" posted directly in front of me every day at work. I hope they are inspiring to you, too.

7 Habits

From 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey

1 – Be proactive: Control one’s environment, rather than have it control you

2 – Begin with the end in mind: By developing the habit of concentrating on relevant activities you will build a platform to avoid distractions and become more productive and successful.

3 – Put first things first: Organize and implement activities in line with the aims established in habit 2.

4 – Think win-win: The assumption that there is plenty for everyone, and that success follows a co-operative approach more naturally than the confrontation of win-or-lose.

5 – Seek first to understand and then to be understood: Diagnose before you prescribe.

6 – Synergize: Creative co-operation – the principle that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, which implicitly lays down the challenge to see the good and potential in the other person’s contribution.

7 – Sharpen the saw: Self renewal necessarily surrounds all the other habits, enabling and encouraging them to happen and grow. (Spiritual, mental, physical and the social/emotional)

7 Decisions

From The Traveler's Gift, Andy Andrews

1. The buck stops here. (Harry Truman) Be responsible – Make a decision.

2. I will seek wisdom. (King Solomon) Listen to the guidance that is offered from people you can trust.

3. I am a person of action. (Civil War Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain) Seize the moment.

4. I have a decided heart. (Christopher Columbus) Ignore rejection, let your passion be your guide.

5. Today I will choose to be happy. (Anne Frank) Put a smile on your face or you won’t be the one chosen.

6. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. (Abraham Lincoln) Forget Anger Management – Use Anger Resolution

7. I will persist without exception. (The Archangel Gabriel)

Tired

2009-11-03T22:52:00.004-06:00

One luxury I've never been able to indulge in is sleep. Well, any rest for that matter. Friends tease me that I bring it on myself...I over-extend...I couldn't be happy if I wasn't in constant movement.

The way I see it I have two choices: Stop the chaos and then my children suffer from the financial consequences of divorce and me being a one income household OR bring in the two incomes on my own.

For whatever reason their dads don't have the same urgency for providing for their future as I do. Not that they don't work, they do. But child support has either stayed the same or decreased. Never has there been an increase. There is no sign of a college savings account or a car fund. If there is going to be an increase in income, a betterment of circumstances, a hope for debt free college students for children, it is most assuredly going to be on me to guarantee. I accepted that a long time ago, even though at times I do have to push back resentment.

So, as I am exhausted from a full day at work I am pulled between invoicing and checklists for my company and being an enthusiastic "shark" in Derek's made up game we played while hopping from couch pillow to pillow on the floor. Brittany gets it and always has. She has unfortunately endured the days where I worked four jobs and at times 2 days straight with no sleep. Ahhh, the days of desperation as a 19 yr old single mom with no help! Now I make good money and have a profitable company that I own...and people who look like me at 19 work for me to pay their daycare bills. I hope Derek can say his mom was able to spend time with him. He certainly has a different version of me entirely, but it could be so much better. It's just so non-stop just to keep up anymore.

I'm cursed. If I "play" I feel guilty that I'm not providing what they deserve by working. If I "work" I'm not giving them the attention they deserve while playing. But it never fails. Just when I think things are going to be on coast, some big something happens or someone or something reduces a source of income. I commit another year, Lord. Then something must change. I've been faithfully chugging at full speed since I was 16. At 30 I'm waiving my white flag.

I want nothing more than to put my attention towards my family after 8-9 hours of work each day. Crossing fingers Brit keeps those grades up...college is four and a half years away. I'm not ready. She's endured all these years and is brilliant. She will get through college debt free if it kills me. She's earned it and one would think I have, too.

I'm officially registering as an Independant. I don't support those who support gang rape, sorry.

2009-10-19T10:31:00.007-05:00

What the HECK, Republicans? (Note I'm not exactly fond of the usual antics of the Democrats, either...) Here is the most recent "valor" from our Republican "noble leadership:"

30 GOP's vote "nay" to Franken Amdt. No. 2588, which specifically prohibits the use of funds for any Federal contract with Halliburton Company, KBR, Inc., any of their subsidiaries or affiliates, or any other contracting party if such contractor or a subcontractor at any tier under such contract requires that employees or independent contractors sign mandatory arbitration clauses regarding certain claims.

"Certain claims" include GANG RAPE. As PROVEN by one of the perps' CONFESSION in the Jamie Leigh Jones case. I'll be DAMNED if MY tax dollars go to a company that forces its employees to sign a document saying they can't sue their co-worker(s) if they are raped by them.

Here is the letter I wrote to Georgia Senators Chambliss and Isakson and Tennessee Senators Alexander and Corker, all are Republican and all voted "nay" to this amendment. I figure I live in one state and own a company in the other. They all get a piece of me:

Insert senator name here:

As a Republican who is growing INCREASINGLY disheartened with her party, I would like an answer to why you voted against the Franken Amdt. No. 2588.

As a small business owner I can choose to not contract with vendors who allow for despicable treatment of women. When a female is gang raped to the point of her implants busting, and severe rectal/vaginal bleeding, I think it is safe to say she should have THE RIGHT to force accountability. If the company does not allow for that, why is the U.S. government condoning such with high dollar government contracts?

If the government wants to take MY money to give to an organization that allows things like this to happen, I think I would just as soon have Hillary in office where at least women won’t be abandoned in what looks like a pre-suffrage culture. May the day never come that your daughter, wife, sister or granddaughter be put in the same position as Ms. Jones.

Amber Sanders

Perhaps these jerks were enjoying one too many Halliburton-sponsored Vegas vacations. I sure can't find their rebuttal or reasonable explanation why they voted "nay."

They are ALL corrupt if you ask me.

***UPDATE with responses:***

Wed, October 21, 2009 2:12:26 PM

Dear Ms. Sanders:

Thank you for contacting me regarding an amendment included in the Senate-passed Department of Defense Appropriations Act for 2010, that prohibits funding for federal contractors who require the use of arbitration to settle employment disputes. I appreciate hearing from you and the opportunity to respond.

Senate amendment 2588 to H.R.3326, Department of Defense Appropriations Act for 2010, was introduced by Senator Al Franken in response to the case of Jamie Leigh Jones, a 22-year-old Texan who alleges that in 2005 she was drugged and gang raped by fellow contract workers while working for defense contractor Halliburton/KBR at Camp Hope in Baghdad. Ms. Jones sued Halliburton/KBR and a three-judge panel of the 5th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals ruled in September 2009 that Jones' employment contract with Halliburton/KBR does not prohibit her from suing over the claims she has made and that her lawsuit against Halliburton/KBR can go to trial. I am glad Ms. Jones is getting her day in court for these civil claims against the company, and I believe that if the charges bear out, those responsible for this horrific crime should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

I voted against this amendment in accordance with the recommendation of the President and his Department of Defense, which opposed this amendment. Under the Franken amendment, defense contractors who receive federal funding could no longer require that employees sign contracts mandating that they settle employment disputes through arbitration. The amendment applies to current defense contracts and thus contractors who have employment arbitration agreements with their employees and who have already completed work for the military would not be able to paid for that work, under the Franken amendment.

In addition, I believe that this amendment would reverberate far beyond Ms. Jones' claim against Halliburton because it would lead to defense contractors eliminating arbitration altogether as an option for employees. Arbitration is a proven process that offers fast and fair resolutions of employment disputes, and its must be preserved as an option.

Without arbitration, employees are left with only the option of going to court, which is a very expensive and lengthy process. Arbitration allows employees to still make their claim and pay nothing or nearly nothing to do so because an employee does not have to hire an attorney for arbitration. Additionally, statistics show that employees actually fair better in the arbitration process than they do in court. According to a survey, employees have a 63 percent chance of prevailing in arbitration versus a 43 percent chance of prevailing in court.

The Franken amendment ultimately passed by a vote of 68 to 30, and some are characterizing the 30 senators who voted against the Franken amendment as "Pro-Rape" or "Pro-Gang Rape." This is politics at its worst. I am a husband, a father of a daughter, and a grandfather to three granddaughters, and it is absolutely ludicrous to characterize me or my colleagues as "pro-rape." Rape is a heinous crime and those who commit sexual assault should be punished, and I believe that the U.S. Justice Department should become more aggressive in prosecuting cases of rape and violent crime in combat zones such as Iraq. Unfortunately, the Franken amendment would not do anything to protect women from violence or to punish criminals. If it had, I would certainly have voted for the amendment.

Thank you again for contacting me. Please visit my webpage at http://isakson.senate.gov/ for more information on the issues important to you and to sign up for my e-newsletter.

Sincerely,
Johnny Isakson
United States Senator

For future correspondence with my office, please visit my web site at http://isakson.senate.gov/contact.cfm. You can also click here to sign up for the eNewsletter

Tue, October 27, 2009 9:25:41 AM

Dear Ms. Sanders:

Thank you for contacting me regarding Senate Amendment 2588 (S. Amdt. 2588) as it pertains the National Defense Authorization Act for the 2010 fiscal year (NDAA). It is good to hear from you.

During the recent debate on the NDAA, Senator Franken introduced S. Amdt. 2588 which would drastically change the way the Department of Defense (DoD) interacts with defense contractors. Specifically, this amendment bans the DoD from doing business with any contractor that has a mandatory arbitration clause with its employees. Therefore, all defense contractors that want to continue to receive federal funding will be forced to eliminate mandatory arbitration as an option for resolving employment disputes.

I strongly believe rape is a terrible crime and that those who commit sexual assault should be punished. However, the Franken amendment was not the proper way to address this issue. This amendment creates a major, fundamental change in U.S. labor law that goes far beyond Ms. Jones' claim against Halliburton. Instead, I strongly support the U.S. Justice Department being more aggressive in prosecuting cases of rape and violent crime in all situations where they have jurisdiction.

From a legal standpoint, the elimination of arbitration as an option leaves employees with only the option of going to court, which often to the determent of the employee is a very expensive and lengthy process. Arbitration allows employees to still make their claim and pay nothing or nearly nothing to do so because an employee does not have to hire an attorney for arbitration. As such, I voted against the inclusion of the Franken Amendment to the NDAA.

If you would like to receive timely email alerts regarding the latest congressional actions and my weekly e-newsletter, please sign up via my website at: www.chambliss.senate.gov. Please let me know whenever you feel I may be of assistance to you.

Thu, October 29, 2009 11:07:29 AM

Dear Ms. Sanders,

Thank you for taking the time to contact my office about Senator Franken's amendment to the FY2010 Defense Appropriations bill dealing with arbitration. Your input is important to me, and I appreciate the time you took to share your thoughts.

Senator Franken's amendment stemmed from a truly horrible crime committed against Jamie Leigh Jones, an employee of a company performing work in Iraq under a contract with the Defense Department. Please know,this amendment had no impact on law enforcement's ability to pursue criminal prosecution against anyone involved in committing these crimes, and dealt only with the agreements between employers and employees to resolve civil claims in arbitration rather than through litigation. What happened to Ms. Jones in this case is abhorrent and the culprits should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Separate and apart then from any criminal prosecution, Ms. Jones filed several claims in court in a civil suit against the company. The company argued that Ms. Jones could not sue in court because the employee signed an arbitration agreement to bring any claims against her employer to arbitration instead of being tried in court. However, the court ruled in favor of Ms. Jones by nullifying the arbitration agreement as to her claims of (1) assault and battery, (2) intentional infliction of emotional distress arising out of the assault, (3) negligent hiring, retention, and supervision of employees involved in the assault, and (4) false imprisonment. The court therefore said that employers can not require that civil claims of sexual assault be resolved through arbitration and that employees like Ms. Jones retain the ability to sue in court.

The Franken amendment sought to codify this court ruling in favor of Ms. Jones by requiring that contractors with the Defense Department exclude those four claims from their employee contract arbitration agreements. However, this amendment went much further than the court ruling by also requiring the exclusion from arbitration agreements of many of the possible employment claims an employee can bring against an employer. First, it is important to note that the Obama Administration opposed the Franken amendment because of its broad application and the problems associated with enforcing it. Rather than a targeted attempt to prevent the types of obstacles that Ms. Jones faced when she fairly sought restitution for the horrific acts that occurred, this amendment went well beyond in an effort to make a sweeping change to existing law among issues that never impacted this employee and that the court never addressed in this case.

I agreed with the court ruling and believe that the civil claims arising out of the sexual assault should not be arbitrated. However, I believe the amendment was too expansive, and went well beyond the situation the amendment was trying to remedy. I believe that arbitration can provide employees with a more efficient and cost-effective avenue for resolving their claims against their employer and I do not believe it should be largely eliminated as an alternative to what is sometimes a very lengthy, contentious, and expensive court process.

Thank you again for your letter. I hope you will continue to share your thoughts with me.

Sincerely,

Bob Corker
United States Senator

Why we'll never accept "blah"

2009-09-27T08:52:00.005-05:00

"Getting back to her after work and all the other 'stuff' is the highlight of my every day."

"Really, if being together isn't just the greatest thing ever, why even freak'n botha? He's my everything."

-Wine Styles members, Frank and Elbie, on marriage after 30+ years and two children.

This gives me great hope. And I might add they also have killer taste in wine...

Bargain Bitch

2009-09-21T12:07:00.009-05:00

As I noted in my previous entry I am determined to be proactive, not reactive when it comes to my HARD earned money. I've come across so many sites and blogs with playful names, annoying flashing sidebar ads and enough emoties to be sure everyone knows THEY LOVE THIS STUFF. I'm glad these people are amused with the process and maybe one day I will be, too. However, right now I think I'm going to deem myself the "Bargain Bitch."

I hate shopping. I like going to Home Depot. At the Depot you go in, ask for what you want, someone takes you straight to it and you buy it. Done. I refer to Wal-Mart as Satan's Warehouse. What a nightmare. At least an hour to navigate the ever-changing store intended to manipulate shoppers into buying more, with zero customer services and a lackluster inventory to house so much junk.

Now, I'm frugal and I've gotten living humbly while looking large down to a science...or so I thought. However, I see these soccer moms are walking out of grocery stores with $150 worth of food and household items for like $30. And then they log into their cutsie blogs and give virtual high fives to each other every time they save twenty-five cents. So, I've subscribed to like EVERY RSS feed I can to execute a covert operation until I figure out which ones actually prove valuable, without getting sucked in to their coupon cult. In the mean time I am notified every time a package of diapers goes on sale. I might not have laced up my Keds, buttoned my denim jumper and hoped into a mini-van this morning, but by gosh I can do this, too!!!

So yeah, I'm a little bitchy. Not only do I hate shopping, I'm entirely too busy to "you go girl" a woman for getting a 3 ounce wrinkle releaser for free after committing ten minutes to a survey benefiting the "giving" company that sent it to her. I am after one thing: leveraging opportunity to benefit my long-term financial picture. Let's skip the fluff and just get to it.

I'm hanging in there until the end of the year to evaluate the effectiveness of my consistent couponing. I love my family and I want my kids to graduate from college debt free, so consider this my new hobby. First success: $47 saved at Kroger on my groceries/house supplies yesterday. YAY! But, DO NOT send me a smiley for that crap.

Signed,

The Bargain Bitch

Not quite a do-over, but it's something...

2009-09-16T10:50:00.006-05:00

After we lost Anna I remember crying and telling my friend, Kent, I just wanted a do-over. I think I broke his heart with that statement because it allowed him to peer into the emmense amount of pain I was trying to keep from consuming me. Things were SO insanely busy during that time. It's like I timed out life to get through the process of it all, then jumped head first back into event chaos.

When we hit a slower spot after months of sprinting a marathon, Donna and I kind of kicked back because we really needed to. I still had The Event Loft on my plate for a portion of that time and what little true down time I had I can't say I functioned too well. Just because I "rested" from the chaos that was a great distraction didn't mean I actually dealt with anything.

Then continue the self-inflicted story of my life:...more busy...WOAH busy...then let's MOVE! And you know the rest.

And now here I am once again looking at the rest of my life. My future in Georgia, my readiness for marriage, Brittany now being only years away from college. So many of the question marks in my life now have answers attached, so I feel more grounded. Now that I have a standard to measure against, what's the plan again? Oh crap, I don't really have one that's relevant. I've been flying by the seat of my pants (fairly successfully) for some time now, but have found for this season security and consistency have grown to the top of my priority list over time freedom and flexibility. Those certainly had their place for their season, but here we grow again...

I haven't truly processed losing a very important child in my life in spite of the fact that I've busied myself with working on the foundation we started in her honor. This fuzzies things. Nothing comes into focus because of it. I go through the motions and still tend to "geterdun," but how strategic and consistent am I compared to a year ago, really? Never was there an effort to sort through it all because I was afraid of opening up Pandora's box. I realize now not dealing with it today is keeping me from making tomorrow all it can be. This needs work if I'm going to move my family and my life forward with ANY plan...even though it will NEVER not suck to not have her present as my step daughter one day. So there is one clear issue I need to address, but there is another large one to resolve as I approach 30 and realize one day life will catch up with me...

...yeah, so tell me about your five-year financial plan. Oh, you don't have one, either? Just checking. I could really get to bitching on this topic about how hard I work and how I always have to cover other people's shortcomings, but I'll refrain. Basically it is what it is, no matter what it is or how fair it is; and I need to just get down and get with it to create my own future financial security. A future that lets me know I can retire without surviving on Alpo and that my children will not experience student loan debt as a part of their start on adulthood. This isn't rocket science, it's just discipline and sacrifice. Those are my friends and have been...I guess we'll just be hanging out a little bit more in the coming days.

Many of the other "issues" (other than my tight schedule/too much to do, not enough time) probably could be solved if these above mentioned issues were addressed more effectively. And the time issue could probably be addressed once I clear many of my other issues and I can look at things more clearly and with a greater amount of flexibility.

So this week Geoff and I started two things: a grief group that meets for 13 weeks and Financial Peace University, also a 13 week program. And I've added a personal financial coach to tell me to do the financial squats and lunges that I know I should do, but just don't because no one is barking at me in the dollars and cents fitness center.

The grief group, like my former ADD coach, serves to first let us know that how we feel and how we've reacted and tried cope is "normal." It's refreshing to just not feel so bottled up and afraid to let anyone down by admitting you have a gaping, open wound in your heart that you can't seem to stitch back up. And it will give us the tools to deal with it in a forward moving way...not make it go away, no more than I can make my ADD go away, but to just learn to live with it as it ebbs and flows in intensity.

The financial group will keep me accountable weekly and the coach will feed my high maintenance, limited attention span personality. (I realize most of my friends don't think I'm high maintenance, but ask my vendors...I am in certain circumstances.) When I have a question about MY specific situation I need it to be about ME and I need a professional in front of my face looking at MY papers and giving ME the answer that I want NOW while he has my full attention and I have his....then we move on with the next full-focused task on my day's list. Such matters are not up for group discussion and I'm not going to go home and figure it out on my own when I'm already spread so thin and am clearly emotionally exhausted. Human nature is to put off the tasks that aren't enjoyable, anyway. Add my schedule and it's no wonder why this is just now being addressed!

So there I am. How can I be supported? Don't have any expectations of me. It's so hard to even talk about at all, but after last night I do feel like I can say until someone has lost a child, a spouse, a sibling or anyone with whom they had an intimate relationship, they just can't "get it." I don't know how I am going to feel today, let alone what my capacity is going to be next month...no matter how many times I tell myself "It's going to be OK, I am strong and I am moving forward." I have pretended that I am in "future mode," but clearly I am only capable of "get through today mode" and therein lies the problem. And then I get frustrated when people don't just back the hell off. I think I need a bumper sticker that says, "I'm not really a well put together woman, I just play one on Facebook."

I'm interested in the next 13 weeks. What is to come of my concentrated effort on dealing with my pain and charting my finances with precision? I think the other side of the tunnel will bring about a sunny horizon of hope. At that point I can evaluate and see if something else needs to be added to the "work on me" program or if I stick with these for a while longer. I'm going to guess these stay a priority for some time.

I am putting on my oxygen mask first.

Catching my Breath

2009-08-25T12:09:00.004-05:00

Let me first greet our unwelcome guests who enjoy stalking mine and Geoff's activities: the exes. Hate to start an update with such negativity, but I also never allow for pink elephants in the room. Geoff and I are HAPPY and our exes seem to be happy to wallow in their own misery and I suppose can't stand to see us not joining them. God bless the beautiful children involved and who are caught in the crossfire of their negativity. We choose to stand and operate in joy.

Anyway, so I've been calling the Atlanta/Athens area my hood for about a month now. MUCH has happened during this transition time, much of which was extremely negative and extraordinarily stressful. I've even had some medical concerns derived from these experiences and yet I still say that I LOVE my decision, as do the kids.

You see, the fact is when what is good and right and earnest is sought after the world does not want that to succeed. Whether consequences of previous bad decisions made by myself or Geoff years ago were surfacing or it was just the enemy throwing darts at me through frustrating circumstances every step of the way, I have been running a marathon at a sprinter's pace, shackled, and loaded with a fifty pound backpack.

However, God has not left me and I never lost hope that although circumstances seemed out of control, HE was very much in control. There is no better way to stop trying to be savior to the world than to have no choice but to depend on THE savior to the world.

As a general update, here were my thoughts last night as I was stretched out over a blanket on the lawn of Ashford Manor, sipping a special red wine selected by Geoff because of the meaning behind it...eating amazing food and listening to awesome live music, courtesy of a colleague who put us on a guest list to enjoy this experience:

"My family is in the best place it can be. My children are excelling in schools that actually challenge them. They are in environments that encourage preserving innocence and support a moral standard. My amazing boyfriend/future husband is an incredible support to them in many ways, especially spiritually, emotionally and in practical areas. And they are able to witness a very healthy relationship between two people who love the Lord and strive to love each other in the most authentic, selfless way humanly possible. I have a very stable, good paying job with excellent benefits and a house that is more than I need and beyond comfortable for my family. In spite of the trials I have faced to secure this life, I stand in gratitude, joy and hope."

Although I am a new addition to Geoff's circle, through the yucky circumstances his family and friends have treated me like I have been here forever--especially in his absence, when he had to leave me for eight days suddenly and unexpectedly. And as if that wasn't enough, my family and friends at home...and my church family at home...all showered me with the same support and love I have always been humbled by. And so I conclude that the day to day circumstances of life do not matter. It is the foundation on which one's life exists that should be the compass of his or her attitude.

I am excited about my future. I look forward to watching my children grow into productive, giving adults who love others and act on that love. I anticipate, when the time is right, becoming Mrs. Hurdle and experiencing marriage the way God intended it to be, while growing our already strong partnership and spiritual union.

Hopefully, as life continues to settle, I will regularly post pictures and stories to keep everyone abreast of life in GA. My friend, J.J. has done such a better job than me during his relocation to Louisville. I suppose I will try to keep up with him. (No pressure, J.J., but my friends are depending on your consistency now! ;)

Love you all!

Introducing the new phase of my life...

2009-07-06T12:21:00.007-05:00

I am going to attempt to make a long story short, but will apologize in advance for not achieving it! I broke it up into sections so you can read what you want to get the info you want! ;) Let’s start with the simple statement: After seventeen years of being a Tennessean and a strong Wilson County/Nashville community member, I am moving to Georgia. Here is the rest of the story:

I’m sorry: For everyone who had to find out in a mass communication, such as this. I’ve tried to tell individuals and groups of people as I could, but there are just too many people after so many years and too much to get done with work and packing to carve out the needed time. Since venturing into self-employment, I realize I have not been the Amber everyone was used to: always out and about, participating in everything, creating opportunities for socializing and solving the problems of the world and my friends. Haha. I have truly focused the past couple years on motherhood and the needs of my children. Then, I met an amazing man who lives four-ish hours away, so what free weekends I did have, were spent in another state. ;)

I just want everyone to know that no one is any less important to me now and I wish I had an hour to spend with each and every person who has been a friend to me in the past seventeen years before I moved. Time, I’m afraid, is against me.

BUT I’ll be back: I still will own Planit Nashville, so there will be visits back to deal with business. Obviously, Donna Hollie is beyond capable of being the front person and I’ll continue to help from afar dealing with vendors, behind the scenes planning, etc…We basically do everything from our laptops and Blackberries, anyway, so it is not unusual to not actually work together in the same room. We have a STRONG team in place who can handle things in my absence, no question. I will also be up to visit with family and deal with the kids getting to see their dads. So, this is not goodbye. Rather this is just “I’ll see you a little less.” It’s only four to five hours, depending on time of day/traffic, etc…

So where is “the new home?”: I will live in the city of Loganville, GA. It’s kind of like how Lebanon is to Nashville, only Loganville’s Nashville is Athens. I LOVE ATHENS. Birthplace of the B52’s, REM, Widespread Panic and the Indigo Girls. It has a strong music scene and lots of great places to eat, so it feels similar to Nashville to me.

My house (for those of you reading in GA) is in Golden Meadows subdivision. Very cute and only a couple years old. I’m not sure why everyone has been shocked that I’m not just moving in with Geoff. LOL. I’m fairly certain I’ve exhibited the characteristics of an independent woman over the years?! It is important to me to get established, make the transition and feel good about Amber’s family living in Georgia before uprooting my 17 year life and combining families all in one fail swoop. I think we are creating enough change with the move to get us started for a bit! One step at a time.

In further support of this independence, I felt it important to find gainful employment being so far away from my source of income. Returning to my development years, I am going to be the Director of Annual Giving for the Terry College of Business at the University of Georgia in Athens. It’s a great shop there and they know I will keep Planit Nashville. I don’t think I have to expand upon the benefits, nor the security of working for the state in a role I love and am skilled at. Everyone knows education is a cause I am passionate about. God is good.

WHY? Lots of personal reasons. Many things have happened over the past year and a half. Both good and bad. Of course, I met Geoff and we fell in love with each other, as well as each other’s children. Our children all adore each other, too. There is a strong sense of family, support and togetherness that is amazing to us all. I would not have landed in GA without that foundation. We were happy to continue our long distance relationship for as long as we needed to, but the time simply came and I felt led to make this decision after the initial urging of my daughter and after much, much prayer.

Many of you know, we tragically and suddenly lost Anna, Geoff’s youngest, on December 26^th last year. Changes in my children’s dads’ lives have affected our lives and a myriad of various reasons have led to this decision, including the quality of schools and extra curricular opportunities. The bottom line is what is best for my children’s security and happiness is this change and we are all excited to make the transition.

For those who have not been in the know already, here’s some more background: Geoff (who most of you IN the know only refer to as “Mr. Wonderful” or “Mr. W,” but truly he does have a real name) and I met through our mutual friends Greg Dugdale and Angela Wilsdorf during a trip he took to Lebanon/Nashville to visit them. In spite of our distance we have talked on the phone every single day since and have seen each other at least once a month, if not more, and have spent several long periods of time together over the past year and half or so. He is an amazing Christian man who has proved me wrong that all men are the same. And by Christian I don’t mean Bible thumper, nor a person who happens to attend church. I mean a human who displays the fruits of the Spirit and who clearly has a relationship with Jesus. Without getting too personal, but to answer the questions that are going through my friends’ minds: He loves me for me, never has tried to change me, GENUINELY supports my independence and professionalism and leads by influence and example, never by force, threat or ego. I respect him immensely and trust him because I know he always has the best interest of me and the kids (including his) at heart.

Kristen is almost 16 and drop-dead gorgeous inside and happens to be equally as beautiful on the outside. She is a joy in my every day. I can’t describe how I can love a child so much who did not come from my body, but I do. She is a great older sister figure to my kids and a blessing to me. Her parents and step-father have raised her so well. And, because her mom is such a good mom, I get to simply be her friend…of course who ultimately is on the parental team. ;)

As I mentioned, we lost beautiful Anna. I was robbed of really building the kind of relationship I wanted with her, as I was in her life a short 8-9 months. However, we had some powerful victories together and conversations that will stay with me always. The most important being the promise I made her the week before she left us. She, in her oozing sarcastic yet adorable tone asked, “So are you like gonna marry my dad and be my step-mom or what?” Haha. Of course I explained that it’s not that easy living in two different states, but I did promise that one day that would in fact be her step-mom. So, in as much as I hate I won’t have her here to enjoy like I do her sister, I know one day I’ll have an angel as a step-daughter, and more importantly that one day I’ll see her again and she’ll know I kept my promise.

Geoff’s family is amazing and I adore them. They all live close by and importantly, are a tight family. I would have no interest in a man who could not understand why family is important to me, nor be supportive of the relationship I have with my parents, brothers and sisters. Likewise, Geoff is a natural fit in my family.

I also have so many wonderful friends there, many who I have because of Geoff and some whom I’ve befriended who were not friends of his first. I know, shocking to you all. And yes, I’ve already talked to nearly every telephone poll in the greater Atlanta area…haha.

Final thoughts on moving: So, I have always seen myself as a Californian who happily lived in Tennessee. Now I’ll be a Californian who happily lives in Georgia by way of Tennessee. I hope I’ll still be alerted to important moments in everyone’s lives. Like I said, I’m only 4-5 hours away. Of course during football season I’ll be at all the UGA home games as part of my job, so travel then will be hard. (Darn, darn, darn. LOL) And thank God for Facebook! It will be like I never left.

Importantly, there was a core group who stood with me in prayer through this decision, through the interview at UGA (truly the only place I really was excited about applying for a J-O-B) and who continue to pray while I sort out details. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. Your constant encouragement and just the knowledge that I was kept in prayer means the world to me.

A testimony worth reading: Most importantly, I’d be remised if I did not share this: Just before I quit Cumberland and just before I met Geoff I started a journey. I have always tried to be savior to my world, rather than depending on the true savior of THE world. I’ve been a Christian and feel like I’ve had a great relationship with Jesus. However, I could never let go of control. Needless to say, I’ve messed a lot of stuff up in the process thinking I knew better. There have been so many times since I made this commitment where I was scared to death. There was more than one occasion where I truly asked God, “Are you CRAZY?”

It started with a negotiation I tried to have with him. I think He knew granting me the exact reassurance I requested would give me the faith I needed to get through all of what was to come. So, holding to that promise fulfilled I walked in faith through every decision—even when it didn’t make logical sense—and my faith continued to build as I was rewarded handsomely for my obedience each time. If my spirit was led to do something, I have tried my utmost to follow through. THIS HAS BEEN HARD, but I am truly happier than I have ever been ever, ever, ever. The underlying peace is beyond what I can communicate. That does not mean I don’t have stressed-out-spaz-out moments at times. And that does not eliminate bad things from happening. Obviously, losing Anna proves that. However, releasing control has been the greatest step of my adult life and I look forward to living life, through the good times and the bad, in this manner.

This verse is on a note card in my car and reads as a constant reminder, ^“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.” -Isaiah 26:3-4

Call me crazy or schizophrenic, but my lifestyle is a product of this passage and I guess I just want everyone else to have the same peace and joy that I have. I try to not be overly preachy, but if this speaks to even one person, it was worth sharing.

I love all my friends. Thanks for caring enough about this change in my life to read through this novel! Not exactly clear, nor concise...but writing from emotion with no time to edit is just different than my technical writing! xo

Conversation with my boyfriend...

2009-06-15T20:02:00.002-05:00

Mr. W found the remnants of my purse purging from the other day and was kind enough to check in with me to determine the pile's importance. Here is the conversation:

"Hey, I just picked up a towel and a bunch of receipts and stuff fell out. Do you need these things?"

"Heck if I know. Save them just in case."

"K, it looked like you were cleaning out your purse now that I look at everything."

"Probably. I'd bet most of them are trash, but some might be something I need. Are there random other things?"

"Gum wrappers, taco sauce, arch supports. Yeah. Pretty random. Hehehehehehehe."

"I love you for loving me in spite of me."

"That is my pleasure. Do you know how funny it was to see 'how random' that was?"

"Go ahead...tell me..."

"I laughed out loud and had to go back and look at it all again. It was even funnier the second time!"

And this is why I'm madly in love with this man...

Life with A.D...oh look! There's a bunny!

2009-05-05T23:41:00.005-05:00

Most days I see my A.D.D. as an incredible super power. I thrive on chaos and it serves me well in my industry. Silence and being alone is kryptonite to me. To be left alone to the constant swapping of ideas, urges and intentions in my head is disabling at best.

Many people don't believe such a "disorder" exists. Perhaps because they think the world is so full of distractions any more almost all people can claim a touch of it. I like to think, however, that this condition is not a deficit of attention, it's a surplus. Perhaps better described as focus deficit disorder or a distractibility disorder. If all the "noise" the average person exists in is removed, he or she can function. Not I.

The only general way I can explain it is with this example. Imagine watching television with someone. Every time you start to get into a show he or she changes the channel. You are frustrated, but then you REALLY get into that show, too. Then, ZAP! New channel. You think, "Dang it?! Why did you do that???" Followed immediately by, "Oooooooooooh...what's this about?"

It eventually gets to the point where you are flipping through so many programs you can't even decide which one you want to watch in it's entirety. So you just keep flipping, catching a piece of each of them. And if you take medicine, you can pick two or three at best and watch all of them while the others are on a commercial break because heaven forbid you waste any time when you could be consuming information over a "break." You cover a lot of ground, but never feel totally satisfied that you accomplished watching one show completely.

However, if you DID land on one show and try to focus, your mind would be thinking about what was happening on all the other shows, so you might as well just watch them all, rotating them until you are over watching TV. Trying to focus on the one would drive you darn near crazy.

Or it's like a radio being in between two stations and that annoying fuzz is there...where you can hear parts of one song, but also an announcer or commercial from the other station is combined with it. Granted, you CAN hear both stations, but the strain you have to experience to do so is exhausting. My mind is full of that fuzzy, two-stations at a time dialouge and I'm trying to decipher it all. That is my brain every day all day.

The only way to truly articulate A.D.D. for me, however, are through examples of how I operate. For instance, I can have a pile of clothes to put up and procrastinate forever because I am left to do it on my own and know what is to come. I know I'll put up three blazers then check the mail. One pencil skirt, then remember I forgot to take out the salmon to thaw. OK, crap! I was putting up laundry. Better get back to it. Two pairs of pants, wow...all my shorts in a drawer...Oh no! I forgot to call Mom back.

This goes on until a couple loads of laundry takes me a half a day to put up. Why? Because it's monotonous and requires focus. I can invoice, text, talk on the phone and work on a vendor spreadsheet all at the same time with ease. Mulitple stimulating, changing activities propel my attention forward. And if I had a friend just sitting there to talk to me I WOULD get all the laundry put up because that little piece of crazy in my mind is occupied by the person before me. But a phone conversation won't suffice because it's JUST a voice and I can STILL be distracted without all the stimulation of body language, eye contact, facial expressions and such. Now I'm sounding really nuts, but whatever. I'm OK with myself. Others, maybe not....

I've had more than one boss in the past tell me my methods of arriving at their goal were exhausting. They weren't questioned because I was a high performer, but "my" way was doing the jitterbug in a zig zag pattern to cross the same road he would by merely taking three long, straight steps. I'd not only cross the road, but own it and the surrounding land by the time I got there, but then need a day of down time just to regroup. However, even with the "down day" I was STILL ahead of the slow stepper.

Tonight my brain is exhausted. If I was independently wealthy I'd live life on my terms and savor the gift of my A.D.D. I know wealthy women who are "inflicted" with my same achilles heal. Others judge them for "living in their own world just because they have money." Perhaps they do and perhaps it's frustrating for others. But having the freedom to just be--and not be on the rest of world's terms--probably keeps them more sane and bearable than if they had to adhere to society's guidelines. It is hard and you have to pick careers, relationships and environments that are A.D.D. friendly just as much as you have to learn how to modify your behavior to fit the norm or you can't survive.

Tonight I want to stay up all night because when everyone else runs dry I get inspired with a second wind. My focus doubles and I'm ready to produce. Unfortunately, I still have to get the kids to school by 7:50, go to meetings and exist in the "day shift" the majority of the world operates in. So, I lie on my stomach past midnight vomitting out my thoughts until I can't keep my eyes open, forcing me to settle and sleep.

Alarm goes off in the morning. Repeat. Welcome to my world.

At the kindergarten lunch table...

2009-04-30T12:10:00.002-05:00

As always, I'm overwhelmed by the amount of random comments that pop out of the mouths of my son's classmates at lunch. I thought it would be fun to document this, so I typed every comment in the order it was heard into my Blackberry and emailed it to myself. This, for real, is about two minutes at the lunch table from about seven children and I couldn't keep up with it all...and it was all directed at me:

"I watch Sponge Bob and my dad has a Jeep with a TV."

"My sister kissed me on the lips. Seriously, she did! Is that gross?"

"You know what I'm allergic to? Pollen."

"That candy makes me hot. Feel my head."

"Have you ever seen Bolt?"

"My mom has a new game on her phone."

"I'm six years old."

"Have you ever seen my two lizards?"

"That's a Blackbery"

"Paul Elliot has a cell phone. Pass it on."

"Do you know what level of Super Mario Brothers I'm on? Level SIX?"

Fascinating. It's not two-way, it's simply a continual offering of facts about each of themselves. Hilarious! I'm dizzy yet delighted when I leave their company! :)

Tech Rap

2009-04-27T13:10:00.004-05:00

After collecting my two phone, a failed attempt to have a conference on my laptop, running out to my car to find my blue tooth and receiving messages regarding my tweet on my Blackberry and thinking of posting something on my Facebook, this little ditty just came to me. I'm sick in the head, but I'm OK with it. Don't say you can't relate!

With my Blackberry by my side and my Blue Tooth in my ear

I wave my hands in the air and talk like I don’t care

I just poked someone on Facebook and tweeted for my peeps

Then I Skyped half the night and wonder why I don’t sleep

I uploaded to Picasa and shared pics through my Flickr

If all that’s not enough, I found more ways to connect quicker

I’m texting and IMing and I’m blogging every day

I wondered, “Do I need MySpace?” Then thought, “IDK!”

I no longer even laugh I just say, “LOL”

Don’t ask me how I’m doing, check my Twitter…it will tell

Technology’s taken over, I can’t hardly keep it straight

But don’t be bust’n on my usage; Yo, I’m say’n, please don’t hate!

The Loser, Shel Silverstein (Such my poem)

2009-04-25T15:06:00.002-05:00

My dad often read Where the Sidewalk Ends to my sister and me when I was a child. This selection, however, speaks well to me even in my adulthood. Enjoy...

The Loser

Mama said I'd lose my head

If it wasn't fastened on.

Today I guess it wasn't

'Cause while playing with my cousin

It fell off and rolled away

And now it's gone.

And I can't look for it,

'cause my eyes are in it

And I can't call to it

'Cause my mouth is on it

(Couldn't hear me anyway

'Cause my ears are on it),

Can't even think about it

'Cause my brain is in it.

So I guess I'll sit down

On this rock

And rest for just a minute....

The logic of a six-year-old provides me wonderful bathroom humor!

2009-04-20T09:10:00.002-05:00

Derek will probably kill me when he gets older for sharing this for all to read on the Internet, but I can' t resist. It was entirely too funny to me. Here is the scene: We are driving from Tennessee to Georgia and were approaching Chattanooga.

Me: "Hey baby, when we get to Chattanooga, we'll stop and get something to eat and you can go pee pee, OK?"

Derek: "I don't have to go pee pee, but I do have to go #2."

Me: "OK, whatever you need to do." (Silently laughing to myself at his innocent honesty.)

Derek: "Ummm...never mind. I need to go #12."

Me: (Trying to think quickly...) "What is #12?"

Derek: "It's when I have to go #1 AND #2."

Of course it is?! I died laughing. This goes into the permanent vocabulary file. I LOVE being a mom to a little boy. :)

At global conference of parliamentarians, a call for action on adolescent girls’ rights

2009-04-09T17:19:00.004-05:00

At Global Conference Of Parliamentarians, A Call For Action On Adolescent Girls’ Rights
ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia, 9 April 2009 – Adolescent girls in developing countries are the world’s greatest untapped resource for stability and growth. As economic actors and future mothers, safe, healthy, educated, economically empowered girls have the means to escape poverty and ignite progress.

(Click title to read full story.)

What accomplishment looks like

2009-04-08T13:47:00.004-05:00

Towards the end of last year I was somewhat shocked to be asked to serve Nashville CABLE in a collaborative writing project. Led by Deb Palmer George of Palmer Solutions, the six of us met several times and produced dialogue via email to craft the Visioning statement for CABLE.

CABLE has been around for thirty years, has over 600 high powered professional female members (and a few male ones, too) and has a mission statement of "Connecting women with opportunity." However, the organization has never had a statement or vision indicators reflective of where we want to see ourselves in the future. With the Rutherford CABLE newly established as our first franchise, it became important to articulate who exactly we are and what indicates success for our organization.

This process was especially meaningful to me because the tightening and tuning of this piece occurred while I was in Swaziland, Africa. After feeling the pain of the local women and witnessing a reality that is well beyond my ability to comprehend, I was able to focus (at least for brief moments) on an extraordinarily positive statement with amazingly talented, successful, autonomous women. To escape the tragedy with this project probably knocked just enough of the edge off to allow a renewal of my emotional energy.

This picture was taken Monday night as we celebrated the completion of our wordsmithing. Pat Matranga, who owns Matranga Wood Designs crafted a wooden bowl with too many special details to tell, but they all meant so much to our group. In this bowl, representing the place Deb provided us to nest and work in, we each placed an egg to represent ourselves. We painted our eggs in the color we each used throughout our email dialogue to identify ourselves. We gave this to Deb, as well as a hard copy of us "processing the process" of the gift via email behind her cyber back. :)

What a group of women. Our next CABLE president, Marty Nord, was in the group, myself and Pat, Stephanie Bleecher and Tosha Jones. You can click on their names to visit their respective companies. It is not only refreshing to see a small group of women unite to craft such a powerful statement, it is intensely satisfying to grow a deep respect for those women throughout the process. The smiles in the picture above were not fake! THAT is what accomplishment looks like!

Quote of the day

2009-04-03T06:22:00.006-05:00

So, I was looking at a new friend's blog and came across a comment. Knowing, like me, she is a Christian (as in relationship with Jesus, not a religious warmonger) and an advocate of a holistic, healthy lifestyle, I knew exactly where she was coming from with this.

"If you're religious and want to judge my glass of wine, maybe you should lose 30 pounds first. "

I couldn't agree more. Wine, in and of itself, is not a catalyst for sin. Food is not catalyst for sin. It is what we DO with these inanimate objects that counts.

I sat in a pre-event meeting once with a group who was trying to decide if wine should be served or not. I deal with this often. The two people who were animate about NOT serving alcohol because it was "wrong" were also both AT LEAST 60-100 pounds overweight each. I wanted to ask how the end result of moderating a two glass per guest policy would compare to what they were going to do at the buffet table, but I refrained.

This is not a knock on people struggling with their weight, rather a return to the question, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

If some people drink too much and it affects their life, I must argue that the health implications, the effect on relationships and the self-esteem issues that accompany obesity are equally great. And I'd say we have many more people in the South, especially, struggling with obesity than we do alcoholism. Perhaps the Bible belt should shift its focus and reconstruct its battle cry.

Reconciled with an old friend?

2009-04-02T01:16:00.002-05:00

Well, today was an interesting experience at the gym. I actually wanted to be there and enjoyed my run. Granted, there was a time where this was just my reality. A part of my every day without question...like eating or brushing my teeth. It wasn't an "if" it was a "when." My workout was something I could not do without.

Travel, self-employment, crazy hours, "partying for a living" as an event planner all took a toll on the shift in this priority. I know it is essential for overall health--not just a waist line, although that too has suffered. Importantly, exercise helped keep me focused in spite of my A.D.D. It helped me manage stress and anxiety in an otherwise pressure cooker of an adult life. It kept my spirits up even in the hardest times because of the natural endorphins that were released during and after my efforts. For me personally, and as a certified personal trainer preaching to my clients, exercise wasn't about being thin. It was about being able to keep up with my life, my children and being a good steward of the only body God gave me--no trade ins offered, no upgrade available.

I related this thought to my clients: If you knew at age 16 that the car you were given was the only car you would ever be able to drive, how would you take care of it? Certainly the oil would be changed regularly, the tune ups tended to, the body and interior taken better care of. Well, I know this is it. I only get one shot at this body thing.

So, having this in the back of my mind as I half-heartedly had an on-again, off-again relationship with the gym, I made weak attempts at rekindling the passion. In spite of my efforts I could not get happy about our dates. Begrudgingly, I went out of obligation, not out of love. Had my life just changed that much and I would not find the same need for this as I once did? How sad.

Then, the rubber met the road. And here is where I'm going to have a hard time because I haven't publicly talked about this yet. I hope in doing so it might help another. We lost Anna. What? This isn't happening. HOW do you make sense of this? At first my instinct was to be sure to take care of her dad and sister at all costs. It wasn't about me or my loss. For heaven's sake even with all the pain I could barely bare, how could I possibly even understand their loss having ten more years of her beauty, vivacious spirit and loving nature to grieve? And in an emergency or in chaos is where I perform my best, so there was no time for acknowleging my personal feelings too much. God has given me a strength for such times and by gosh I would use it for anyone who needed it. I'd be FINE.

Then, I came home and hardly anyone in Tennessee knew Anna. Although my friends were horrified for me and for all of her family, no one here had any idea how special of a girl she truly was. And in the "good times" my mind was absent. As a party planner, trying to keep my head up and be the "good time guru" I failed miserably at faking it. My heart, my mind and all that I was worried about was in Georgia and so was anyone who could truly grieve beside me.

What was I going to do? Without people to hold up around me, I was left to dealing with my own sense of loss and all the emotions I had. The pain I felt for the love of my life and his surviving daughter, Anna's mother and step-father, the grandparents, aunts and uncles...her precious, young friends. It was too much. I still can't get too deep into what this looked like inside of me because frankly, there just aren't words in the English language to describe it. In the Bible it speaks of moaning to the Holy Spirit when you can't find the words to pray for what you need. I found myself moaning more often than not in my prayers.

Geoff and I both said immediately that we could choose to deal with it or not. Of course we chose to deal with it. Facing the decline of my spirit and knowing I had to be strong for my love and his daughter, I forced myself to seek opportunity to overcome the ensuing depression and failure at living at the velocity Anna would expect me to. The greatest weapon in my arsenal was my old love: exercise.

This effort, in fact, was so forced that I enlisted the help of a personal trainer--my old friend, collegue and a person I could be honest with. He knew that I knew what to do and how to do it. He understood his purpose was to be an obligation to meet. And so I went consistently. If I didn't go to the gym, I did something at home, but I made a point of making it to the gym because there was accountability in attendance. It was no secret to my former co-workers I was there to avoid depression, period. There were no great goals of weight loss, sculpting or finding the old, fit Amber. The goal was to produce endorphins, end of story.

Our trip to Africa gave me a break from this refreshed routine and honestly, I didn't miss it. Once I was back into a normal groove after the trip, I returned. Kind of felt like a part of my life again, oddly. And today...it was different. Completely different. I enjoyed it. It was like I used to feel. I belonged there. It was a part of my day like any day. Granted, I was text messaging on one phone and working the Blackberry, all while fielding calls from both due to a photoshoot tomorrow, but I was SHOCKED to be so motivated in my cardio. I actually ran fast, in fact, and I ran longer than I had planned. There was a great energy in my efforts that had been missing for a year or longer. It felt good to be there and to know I was capable of welcoming this back into my existance, alongside my toothbrushing and eating!

I'm not so niave to believe every visit to my "beloved" gym will be the same experience. But to see this glimmer of hope gives me all the motivation I need to force myself on the days that energy might be hiding. I hope others who are struggling with finding time to exercise will take these words seriously. I was at a scary place to be emotionally and mentally for someone who can't afford to lose herself. God's grace and comfort has carried me, but I know He led me back to exercise and the strong conviction that has always been present even in the absence of desire, thus giving me a tangeable outlet to save my declining emotional health.

UN Children's Fund (UNICEF) reports one in three Swazi women has suffered some form of sexual abuse as a child

2009-03-28T19:56:00.004-05:00

From allafrica.com:

Mbabane — One in three Swazi women has suffered some form of sexual abuse as a child, while one in four experienced physical violence, a new United Nations survey revealed this week.

The study by the UN Children's Fund (UNICEF) is the first of its kind conducted in a country where anecdotal evidence suggests an alarming number of female children are victims of abuse: more disconcertingly still, the mushrooming population of orphans and vulnerable children in Swaziland provides yet more opportunities for sexual exploitation to occur.

In two years, Swaziland will have a population of 200,000 children orphaned by AIDS - more than one-fifth of its population, according to UNICEF. With HIV prevalence at 33.4 percent among people aged between 15 and 49, the country has the world's highest infection rate. As a result, life expectancy has halved from nearly 60 years in the 1990s to just over 30 years today.

"Disabled children, children out of school and orphans are some of the most vulnerable groups," said Jama Gulaid, UNICEF representative in Swaziland. "Poverty and the high prevalence of HIV create high numbers of marginalised children."

The survey, the National Study on Violence Against Children and Young Women, based its findings on interviews among rural and urban communities. Disturbingly, it concluded that violence and sexual assault against girls primarily took place at home.

"We found that 75 percent of the perpetrators of sexual violence were known to the victim," Gulaid said. "It is not surprising that sexual abuse of girls is a household problem, because Swazis reside in multi-generational homes, usually isolated farms. Relatively few girls are raped by strangers in towns because less of the population resides in towns, and there is a heightened awareness of security there".

Rapists don't use condoms

Often the abusers are the girls' own fathers and boyfriends. Only 43.5 percent of girls said their first sexual experiences were freely willed and devoid of coercion: a little less than five percent said they had been introduced to sex as rape victims.

We found that 75 percent of the perpetrators of sexual violence were known to the victim

Underscoring the urgency of addressing violence against girls was the AIDS crisis. "Rapists don't use condoms, and if a father or uncle are so inclined to rape a daughter or niece, or a boyfriend forces himself on his girlfriend, the danger of HIV transmission is rife," said Victor Ndlovu, a voluntary testing and counseling officer in the central commercial town of Manzini. "Add to that the reluctance of girls to report abuse or in many instances to rightly understand they have been violated, we are faced with a serious public health challenge, aside from the individual suffering incurred by the girls."

A third of Swazi females interviewed for the study reported they had experienced emotional abuse. Often, the perpetrators had been abused themselves as children.

"The established 'hand me down' passing on of abuse is evident from what we were told," said Pamela Dlamini, a sociology student at the University of Swaziland, who was one of the survey interviewers. "Emotional abuse of girls is mostly carried out by the girls' female relatives, who were abused themselves. Sometimes there is jealousy. Instead of reporting an abusive husband or unable to police [the girl], the girl's mother or aunt will treat the girl as a rival. This comes from a culture where any post-pubescent girl is considered eligible for marriage in a polygamous household, even if she is 13, although Swazi culture does not allow for the incest we find rampant in households where abuse occurs."

Although officially a middle-income country, the UN Development Programme estimates more than two-thirds of Swazis live in chronic poverty, about the same number - over 600,000 - currently depend on food assistance from the World Food Programme and other donor groups.

The report noted that "Violence can damage the emotional, cognitive and physical development of children and thereby impact economic development of Swaziland by degrading the contribution of affected children".

The way forward

Less than half of sexual assaults and other abusive crimes are reported to the authorities. Swazi children were found to have sought help from the police or social welfare counselors in only one out of five cases that resulted in injury serious enough to consult a doctor.

The way forward appears to be through education, instructing girls about what constitutes abuse. "I spoke with many girls who said they did not understand that they had been abused. They felt abused, physically and psychologically, but no one told them this was not normal," said Dlamini.

The report backed Dlamini's observation, noting, "The numbers suggest a lack of understanding of what sexual violence is and how and where to report such incidents".

Educational programmes in schools would assist in a country where primary school attendance is relatively widespread, and instruct girls on the type of behaviour acceptable when they return home.

"The large numbers of sexual violence incidents happening in the home underscores the hidden nature of sexual violence and presents one of the largest challenges in preventing sexual violence in Swaziland," the report said.

[ This report does not necessarily reflect the views of the United Nations ]

The Beautiful Death

2009-03-26T22:51:00.008-05:00

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.

Luke 9:23-24

I have never been so humbled than I was while in Swaziland, Africa. Who was I? What in my life mattered? I felt fairly well grounded upon arrival: I have no true value on "things," I do not even have cable TV, I don't subscribe to things of pop culture, I have no desire to keep up with the Jones'...I give of myself and my resources...but oh how deeper did my heart die to myself throughout this trip. I have fooled myself all this time thinking I had a clue.

Although I know I can never save the world or be a perfect example of sacrifice, I borrow from my pastor and my friend, Erik Reed's, description of wanting to die the "beautiful death." Sounds pretty fatal I realize, but hear me out!

What I saw and what I experienced and the people I hurt with and the people I cried with and the people I sang with--the children I DANCED with...WOW! I tried to make sense of all I felt each day and for days upon return. There was so much to process. And to further overwhelm me I went with one objective (and luckily an open heart) and I left fiercely convicted with a completely different and unexpected purpose. I realized all that I have experienced in life, all that I have learned, why God wired me the way that he did, and the opportunities I have been given, set me up for this revelation.

I honestly thought I went to Africa to care for children. If you read my blog about how I ended up seeking the opportunity to go, you will know how vivid that assumption was. However, almost immediately I was reunited with a reoccurring passion God has kept in my heart: helping women find their own unique value so they can live fulfilling, complete lives; independent in their wholeness as a person.

The first internal stir occurred after hearing of a woman’s homelessness in Maputo, Mozambique. Her husband died of AIDS in the midst of building their house. Incomplete, it would cost only five hundred U.S. dollars to provide her a humble, cement block home. What’s more is this woman volunteers her time, in spite of her own poverty, to cook for the community children at a care point. A woman who gives her time to provide the only meal these children will see each day has no roof over her own head. I immediately thought of all the powerful, amazing women in my life and how quickly we could fix that problem for this less-fortunate woman. What is $500???

Then, before we even made it to the first care point another incomplete project was pointed out. There is a desire there to build a women’s center. This center would house clinical rooms to provide pre-natal and well-child care. It would have classrooms to teach skills, such as sewing, to enable women to generate income for their families. It would also have counselors to meet the emotional needs of area women and teach them leadership skills, how to improve their self-esteem and how to work towards autonomy. Finally, like the care points that serve the children in the area, it would also have an outdoor kitchen so at least one meal could be served each day.

Now that seemed a little more daunting of a project, but I dared to ask, “how much to complete this project?” Only $15,000. Sure, much more than $500, but I have asked for (and received) that much over lunch in a small country meat and three restaurant on behalf of a non-profit.

Awareness of these opportunities, however, only got my mouth wet. What I was to learn in the days to come—what I would see—inflamed the conviction that stirs in me today. The first shock I experienced was seeing a grown man facing one of the main roads in the country’s capital relieving himself. Not joking. On a well-traveled road, almost daily did I see a man “whipping it out” and “taking a leak” for all to see. I was stunned. What made this acceptable? Our host explained that in the Swazi culture men are taught they can’t control their urges, so they simply act on them immediately, if needed. It was at that point the connection was made between bodily functions and sex. If a man has a sexual urge, than he acts on it. It, too, is an urge. Where does this leave a woman?

Most young women don’t even know they can say “no” when a man makes a sexual advance towards her, according to a local political and sociology expert. This patriarchal society, where polygamy is acceptable, robs the woman of any choice in her life, including when and where she is going to have sex and if she is going to be protected from disease or not. Notice I did not mention law, only society and its standards.

Even married women have to face the possibility their husbands will take on other wives. Most women know their husbands are not going to be faithful to them, even if they do NOT take on other official wives. And if they try to deny their husband in an attempt to save their own health, our host explained the husband can go back to the woman’s family and tell her parents she is not being a wife to him. Now…hang on to your seats, ladies…we would think the father would worry about his daughter’s health and wonder what her husband might be doing to keep her from wanting to be intimate. NO! He beats her and sends her back with the demand she sleeps with her husband like a “good wife” to avoid having to return the cows the family received for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Listen to me, people! A father will beat his daughter and send her to her inevitable death by AIDS in order to keep a few COWS.

So why do women accept this fate? I suppose they wonder how else they would survive if not for a man providing for them. In Swaziland a woman should have a man. To not is wrong. It defines a woman. With limited opportunities for income, with a dependency on others for food and shelter, I can’t blame them for seeing a man as a solution for survival. It is a very “now” society. The problem “right now” can be fixed if I “x, y, z.” However, the long-term ramifications are not considered. A woman will sleep with a man for dinner. Knowing the likelihood of contracting a fatal disease is high, she STILL prioritizes the grumbling that’s been in her stomach for days over the death sentence a few years from now.

And as sad as it is, at least this is her choice to use her body to survive. That is not new to women. What ripped my heart out is standing among ten young girls and knowing statistics predict eight of the ten will be raped or molested by the time they are eighteen. So I ask you this: Is the action of using one’s body to survive or the easy submission to a man’s sexual advances really a shock when they have been violated so early and sometimes so many times over?

I instantly connected with the teachers, with the cooks, with the mothers and the women who supervised and served these other leaders. What was important to them became important to me. I felt their pain and do to this day. As precious as the children were, and as much as I fell in love with them, it was the women that my heart and my gut felt called to.

I have to believe if women feel whole and understand how beautiful and capable they are they would be less likely to be a victim. They would choose men who are noble, as opposed to who can satisfy an immediate need. They could pass that autonomous spirit to not only their girls, but to their young boys and teach them better than the men who came before them.

Being the pillars of their community, no one has a greater influence on their peers than the women. So it is SO important these women have a deep strength to support the world around them. If a woman will not lay down with just any man, would that not slow down the spread of HIV/AIDS? If she does not marry unless a man is worthy of her, will she not prevent the likelihood of him bringing home that same disease? If a shift in the culture starts to take a stand against men acting on their urges in spite of a women’s denial, would that slow down transmission? Could this not collectively impact not only women, but all the children who are affected by the trickle down of the actions and decisions of the adults?

What does all of this add up to for me? Here is where I die the beautiful death. In my mind I have had my goals and dreams that I was going to “achieve.” I have lived a life, in fact, focused on achievement. Focused on fighting for better. Focused on overcoming the obstacles placed before me. Erase all those past goals and here I am now. I have been on a year long journey of submitting my desires, my fears and my “needs.” I have walked in faith in a way I have never before. At times I thought I was going crazy, but every time I embraced that “crazy” I have been rewarded beyond my expectations.

Lying in Mbabane, Swaziland, drenched in my own tears I asked God what all of this burden meant. The words “Here I am, Lord send me…somehow my story is a part of your plan,” came across my iPod in perfect timing to my question. It was almost like a fast forwarded video went through my mind: All my struggles being a young, single mom. The endless fight I have fought to keep my family going all by myself. The physical and mental abuse I suffered by the men who were supposed to protect me in my adulthood. The attraction to and involvement in women’s organizations. The founding of the Women’s Council and its mentorship program. My strong passion for showing women how to find wholeness before they put their hope in men, work, friends or anything else.

So in that moment I chose to die to the pre-conceived thoughts I had for my future. Do I think I’m going to sell all my possessions and move to Africa? Probably not. I’m guessing I have more power to help Stateside and I think I’m better at driving my Impala, as opposed to dodging a real one in my car! However, so much led me to this moment in a place so far away from home, and I can’t ignore the calling God’s placed in my life. In fact, I’ll even admit I don’t know exactly what might be in store for me and my future. What’s more, I don’t care to know EXACTLY what it is. I just know it will be amazing. I know it will be a mighty effort and I know I am privileged to have a part in it.

Geoff has started the Anna Brooke Hurdle Foundation and we are working towards organizing the structure, building volunteer and prospect bases and identifying the greatest needs it can serve. We have gotten SO much done already, but have so far to go. In Anna’s honor we are focusing our initial efforts on what we are calling the Africa project. We are working towards partnering with other organizations and fully funding one care point through the foundation. A care point provides basic needs such as a daily meal (for many the only they will have each day), education, weekly medical clinics and what I refer to as a “supervising eye” on the children. By this I mean their general health and safety is looked after by their teachers and by the local humanitarian support.

Also, with such a large network of amazingly strong, powerful women I hope to ignite a movement to impact the women of Swaziland. Women from all over the country, not just Tennessee and Georgia, have already expressed an interest in a women’s retreat I am planning for October, 2010. I hope to unite American women (and their significant others, should they want to come) to work on our own sense of self while serving the women of Africa and seeing first hand the issues they face. I’m certain each woman who makes this trip will forever be changed. I know we will all look at our own women’s issues back home in a new light. I am confident that serving these women and children with our own two hands will send back a powerful message to the people in our own communities and lives. I know anyone who holds a child stricken with HIV and listens to his mother’s story of rape and abuse will go back home and advocate for a solution. Throw in some genuine labor, a game drive to see the exotic animals of Africa, some intense shopping and I’ll bet these women will be asking when the next trip will be!

Mind you, the people of Swaziland are not looking for a handout. They are a people full of hope and love. They appreciate being taught how to care for themselves and each other. There is a strong sense of community where orphans are cared for by family and neighbors alike. A culture, however, is created over a long period of time and to shift the norm takes time. It takes working with one person and counting on that person to influence those around him or her.

I know the Foundation cannot change a country. I realize I, as an individual, cannot change things tomorrow. However, once upon a time there was slavery in America. Once there were women beaten and starved to death, right in my own country, for wanting to simply be able to vote. Today we have a black president who campaigned against a strong female nominee. This evolution also did not happen overnight.

There are people living and working in these communities who are some of the most incredible people I have ever met. What the foundation can do is help sustain their efforts to move this culture forward through education, influence, leadership training and self-confidence. To be a part of this, and all to carry on the legacy of our precious Anna, is beyond my wildest dreams! So yes, I gladly die to myself, my desires and MY personal agenda. Obviously, I have not been dreaming big enough.

“Here I am, Lord send me.”

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